Chapter 33

He shows me family memorabilia. Wedding photos first. A Hindu wedding with Canada prominently on the edges. A younger him, a younger her. They went to Niagara Falls for their honeymoon. Had a lovely time. Smiles to prove it. We move back in time. Photos from his student days at U of T: with friends; in front of St. Mike's; in his room; during Diwali on Gerrard Street; reading at St. Basil's Church dressed in a white gown; wearing another kind of white gown in a lab of the zoology department; on graduation day. A smile every time, but his eyes tell another story.

Photos from Brazil, with plenty of three-toed sloths in situ.

With a turn of a page we jump over the Pacific-and there is next to nothing. He tells me that the camera did click regularly-on all the usual important occasions-but everything was lost. What little there is consists of what was assembled by Mamaji and mailed over after the events.

There is a photo taken at the zoo during the visit of a V.I.P. In black and white another world is revealed to me. The photo is crowded with people. A Union cabinet minister is the focus of attention. There's a giraffe in the background. Near the edge of the group, I recognize a younger Mr. Adirubasamy.

"Mamaji?" I ask, pointing.

"Yes," he says.

There's a man next to the minister, with horn-rimmed glasses and hair very cleanly combed. He looks like a plausible Mr. Patel, face rounder than his son's.

"Is this your father?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "I don't know who that is."

There's a pause of a few seconds. He says, "It's my father who took the picture."

On the same page there's another group shot, mostly of schoolchildren. He taps the photo.

"That's Richard Parker," he says.

I'm amazed. I look closely, trying to extract personality from appearance. Unfortunately, it's black and white again and a little out of focus. A photo taken in better days, casually. Richard Parker is looking away. He doesn't even realize that his picture is being taken.

The opposing page is entirely taken up by a colour photo of the swimming pool of the Aurobindo Ashram. It's a nice big outdoor pool with clear, sparkling water, a clean blue bottom and an attached diving pool.

The next page features a photo of the front gate of Petit Seminaire school An arch has the school's motto painted on it: Nil magnum nisi bonum. No greatness without goodness.

And that's it. An entire childhood memorialized in four nearly irrelevant photographs.

He grows sombre.

"The worst of it," he says, "is that I can hardly remember what my mother looks like any more. I can see her in my mind, but it's fleeting. As soon as I try to have a good look at her, she fades. It's the same with her voice. If I saw her again in the street, it would all come back. But that's not likely to happen. It's very sad not to remember what your mother looks like."

He closes the book.

第三十三章

    他给我看了家庭纪念册。先是结婚照。一个印度式的婚礼，带有明显的加拿大痕迹。一个更年轻的他，一个更年轻的她。他们去尼亚加拉瀑布度蜜月。玩得好极了。微笑能证明。我们回到从前。他在多伦多大学求学时代的照片：和朋友在一起；在圣迈克学院前；在他的房间里；排灯节时在芝兰街上；身穿白色长袍在圣巴兹尔教堂里读经；身穿另一种白色长袍在动物学系实验室里；在毕业典礼上。每次都在微笑，但他的眼睛却述说了另一个故事。

    在巴西拍的照片，上面有许多原产地的树懒。

    翻过一页，我们跃过了太平洋——关于那段生活几乎没有任何记录。他告诉我说照相机的确经常喀嚓喀嚓地拍——在所有通常被认为重要的场合上——但是所有的照片都弄丢了。很少的几张是玛玛吉事后搜集了邮寄过来的。

    有一张照片是一位大人物参观动物园时拍的。黑白两色向我展示了另一个世界。照片上挤满了人。一位联合王国内阁阁员是大家关注的焦点。背景有一只长颈鹿。在这群人边上，我认出了比现在年轻的阿迪鲁巴萨米先生。

    “玛玛吉？”我指着那个人问。

    “是的。’’他说。

    阁员身边有一个人，戴着角质边眼镜，头发梳得一丝不乱。他看上去有可能是帕特尔先生，他的脸比他儿子的脸圆一些。

    “这畏你父亲吗？”我问。

    他摇摇头。“我不知道他是谁。"

    几秒钟的停顿。他说：“照相的是我父亲。"

    这一页还有一张集体照，上面大多数是学生。他轻轻拍了拍照片。

    “那是理查德·帕克。’’他说。

    我十分惊讶。我仔细地看，努力想从他的外表看出他的性格。不幸的是，这张照片还是黑白的，而且聚焦有些不准。一张在幸福的日子里拍的照片，很随意。理查德·帕克在看着别处。他甚至没有意识到有人正在给他拍照。

    旁边一页被一张奥罗宾多静修处游泳池的彩色照片占满了。这是一座很大的可爱的室外游泳池，池水清澈，闪耀着光亮，池底是蓝色的，很干净，旁边还连着一座跳水池。

    下面一页是一张小修院学校前门的特写。一道拱门上写着学校的校训：Nil magnum niai bonum．没有美德何来伟大。

    就这么多了。四张几乎不相关的照片是对整个童年的纪念。

    他变得严肃起来。

    “最糟糕的是，”他说，“我已经几乎记不起来母亲的模样了。我能在心里看见她，但她的形象一闪即逝。我刚要好好看看她，她便消失了。她的声音也是一样。如果我再一次在大街上看见她，一切都会回来的。但那不可能发生。记不住自己母亲的模样是一件非常令人伤心的事。”

    他合上了纪念册。