Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon?
Because he was dead!

What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old?
A year older on his birthday!

An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload. An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: My little sister ate it!

Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked