When you take a long time, you're slow.

 When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.

 When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.

 When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.

 When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.

 When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.

 When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.

 When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.

 When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.

 When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.

 When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.