If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. -- AnonymousIn the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home. -- Dave BarryFor a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural condition. -- Robert BriffaultWant him to be more of a man? Try being more of a woman! -- Coty Perfume AdWomen see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite without any wish to act. -- Ralph Waldo EmersonIt is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they couldn't charge sixteen dollars for that little tiny jar. -- Jane GoodsellIf I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them. -- Robert GravesA man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Sacha GuitryA man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him. -- Elbert HubbardIf men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring. -- Alphonse KarrBeing a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football. -- Fran LebowitzWomen want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. -- Margaret MeadBachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. -- H. L. MenckenMan is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another hanging on to his coattails. -- H. L. MenckenMen have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing they die earlier. -- H. L. MenckenA woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. -- Gloria SteinemSomeone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. -- Gloria SteinemGod help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her. -- Benjamin TillettIf a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? -- Jenny WeberA woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one. -- Mae WestWhen women go wrong, men go right after them. -- Mae WestWhatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult. -- Charlotte WhittonAll women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his. -- Oscar WildeWhy are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women? -- Virginia WoolfNo man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac