Our children's children will hear a good story. -- Richard Adams, Watership DownAdolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years. -- AnonymousIf you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance. -- Al BernsteinNever raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. -- Red ButtonsYou don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone. -- John CiardiFlowers are words which even a baby can understand. -- Arthur C. CoxeThe trouble with children is that they are not returnable. -- Quentin CrispThe soul is healed by being with children. -- Fyodor DostoyevskiChildren are a poor man's riches. -- English proverbEvery child is born a genius. -- R. Buckminster FullerMost convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as children. -- Libby Gelman-WaxnerAge does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children. -- Johann Wolfgang von GoetheWhen Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now completely frappe!" -- GrahamBlessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt. -- Herbert HooverA wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age. -- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell IIChildren should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away. -- Mary Alice MessengerI love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away. -- Nancy MitfordNever raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected. -- Robert OrbenLaundry increases exponentially in the number of children. -- Miriam RobbinsIt's never too late to have a happy childhood. -- Tom Robbins, Still Life With WoodpeckerActually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it." -- Jerry SeinfeldYouth is wasted on the young. -- George Bernard ShawI don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again. -- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television showChildren today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. -- SocratesFamiliarity breeds contempt -- and children. -- Mark TwainChildren are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of. -- Peter UstinovI am not young enough to know everything. -- Oscar WildeThe old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. -- Oscar WildeThe child is the father of the man. -- William WordsworthWhen I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. -- Steven WrightWe have children because we want immortality and this is the most reliable way of getting it. -- Woodrow Wyatt