爱思英语编者按：每个人都试着努力成为一个更好的人，变得善良、有爱而有同情心。但是对于有些人，事实却不遂人愿。他们身上很多行为或者坏习惯都使他们没吸引力、招人厌，甚至没人愿意和他们相处。下文就列出了一系列不招人待见的性格特点，如果你发现自己占了几条，那就赶紧戒了吧！一旦抛弃这些坏习惯，你会发现你的朋友又回来了。

This Is How You Become Unattractive And You’re Not Aware of It

Everyone strives to be a great person, kind, caring, and compassionate. But for some people, that’s not always the case. There are many behaviors or ‘bad habits’ that people have that make them seem unattractive, annoying, or someone that no one wants to be around with. A few of these harmful characteristics are offered for you below, and if you happen to realize that you embody any of them – quit! You might find your circle of friends grow once you do.
每个人都试着努力成为一个更好的人，变得善良、有爱而有同情心。但是对于有些人，事实却不遂人愿。他们身上很多行为或者坏习惯都使他们没吸引力、招人厌，甚至没人愿意和他们相处。下文就列出了一系列不招人待见的性格特点，如果你发现自己占了几条，那就赶紧戒了吧！一旦抛弃这些坏习惯，你会发现你的朋友又回来了。

1. You are Self-Absorbed
1.你自私自利自我中心
Many people do this without realizing it. You focus solely on yourself, talk only about yourself, and often don’t care what others around you have to say. You think you’re the only one who matters. If this is you, it’s time to change. No one wants to be a friend with someone who only cares about themselves.
这个毛病很多人都有，而且他们都不自知。你的关注点永远只集中在自己身上，话题总是围绕着自己，从来都没留意别人在说什么。你总以为“我”才是唯一重要的。如果这条中了，那就快改了吧。没人想跟一个只有自我的人做朋友的。

2. You Focus on Outer Beauty, Ignoring What’s Inside
2.你太注重外表，忽略内在
Surprisingly, true beauty comes from within your heart, body, and soul. Your physical appearance isn’t what should matter, but people with unattractive behaviors think that outer beauty is all that matters. Take a look in the mirror – deep within yourself – and you might see what lies beneath. An ugly person. Unless you change your way of thinking.
让你意外的事实是：真正的美总是来自于你的内心、身体和灵魂。一个人的外貌其实不那么重要，但是你这种肤浅的人却认为外在美就是一切。照照镜子吧！透过华丽的外表你也许能看到你的本质——一个内在丑陋的人。所以赶快改变这种想法吧。

3. You are Always in Competition
3.你总要和周围的人比
Are you the person who has to be better than everyone else, see more, do more? If so, you’re an unattractive person. You should be more caring towards your friends, and let them have their moment. If they overcame their fear of heights and climbed 10 feet in the air, don’t say, “That’s all? I’ve climbed 30 feet!” Instead say, “Wow! That’s awesome. I’m really proud of you.”
有一种人总想显得自己比周围的人更加的优秀、见多识广、经历丰富，你是这种人吗？如果是，这也许就是没人喜欢你的原因了。你应该更多地考虑到周围朋友的感受，接受他们的杰出与光彩。如果他们克服了恐高情绪爬高了10英尺，你就不该说：“就这么点高？我可爬了30尺！”而是应该说：“哇！你太棒了。我真为你感到骄傲”

4. You View Your Friends as Enemies
4.你把朋友看做敌人
People who are seen as unattractive are often in fights with their friends. Instead of banning together and truly being able to care for others, you’re always turning your back, and stabbing them in theirs. Your friends are not your enemies. They are your allies.
有些不受人喜欢的人总是和周围的朋友起冲突。你没有站在你的朋友一边，也没有真正关心过他们，反而是转身走开甚至背后捅他们一刀。记住，你的朋友不是你的敌人，而是你的盟友！

5. You Question Your Importance to Others
5.你总是怀疑自己在别人心中的位置
You are definitely an unattractive person when you constantly question why others don’t see you as important as you think they should. For instance, your two friends went somewhere without you – it doesn’t matter to them – but to you it does. Get over it. They’re still your friend, and their lives don’t stop when you’re not around.
当你喋喋不休地质疑别人为何不像你想象中那样重视你的时候，你真的就太招人厌了。比如你两个朋友去哪儿玩而没有叫上你，他们觉得没有什么，但是你就受不了了。不要那么玻璃心。他们还是你的朋友，他们也不可能因为你不在就不活了。

6. You are the Boss
6.你才是老大
In a group of friends, everyone should be on an equal playing field. If you’re the one always making the decisions, constantly needing to be in charge, or trying to control what others are doing, you’re acting in an unattractive way.
一个朋友圈子里每个人都应该是平等的。如果什么都是由着你来决定，随时都要你来管事，或者总是想控制别人的行为，那别人是不会对你有好感的。

7. You are Dishonest
7.你不诚实
When it comes to being a great friend, or someone who others want to be around, you need to be honest. Many people who partake in ugly behaviors are often dishonest, lying about everything, inquiring about every question asked about them, and how they truly feel about different things. Yes, honesty is the best policy.
如果你想做一个合格的好朋友或者想受别人的欢迎，那你一定得诚实。许多行为不端的人都不够诚实、随时在撒谎，他们到处询问每个问到他们的问题，或者他们对不同事物的真实看法。所以，诚实才是上策。

8. You are Rude
8.你很粗鲁
If you’re the person that’s frequently impolite, offensive, or embarrassing your friends with your rude comments in public – quit. You’re not someone people want to be around. There are going to be times when you don’t agree with someone, or see something you didn’t want to see, but there’s no point in making a scene, because you’re making everyone look at your terrible behavior and they’re not seeing what you’re seeing.
如果你常常没礼貌、冒犯别人或用粗言秽语让朋友难堪，请改改吧。不然没人会想呆在你的身边。总有些时候你不赞同某些人，或者是看到你不想看的情景，但是没有必要大闹一场吧。 别人只会看到你的粗暴行为，而不能明白你的感受。

9. You are Unreliable, Yet Dependent Upon Others
9.你不可靠，却总想依赖别人
Are you there when your friends call for help? Or are you always busy when someone needs you? If you’re the person no one can count on, that’s an unattractive quality in friendships. Similarly, if you’re the one always calling for help from others, yet never offering yours when they need it, that’s another unattractive quality that no one wants in a friend.
当你朋友需要你帮助的时候，你在场吗？别人需要你的时候你是不是总说忙、没时间呢？在和别人相处中，无法值得依靠是一个非常低劣的品质。更甚，如果你从没帮助别人，还总是要求他人帮助你，有这种行为的人是没有人愿意和你交朋友的。

10. You are Always Negative
10.你总是很消极
Pessimism is not an attractive quality. If you’re constantly putting things down, or seeing situations in a negative light, try and change your attitude. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who’s constantly seeing the negative instead of the positive.
悲观主义可不是一个吸引人的品质。如果你总是在贬低或者总是看到事情消极的一面，试着改变你的态度吧。没人愿意和这种缺乏正能量的人成为朋友。