TWO or three days and nights went by; I reckon I might say they swum by, they slid along so quiet and smooth and lovely. Here is the way we put in the time. It was a monstrous big river down there -- sometimes a mile and a half wide; we run nights, and laid up and hid daytimes; soon as night was most gone we stopped navigating and tied up -- nearly always in the dead water under a towhead; and then cut young cottonwoods and willows, and hid the raft with them. Then we set out the lines. Next we slid into the river and had a swim, so as to freshen up and cool off; then we set down on the sandy bottom where the water was about knee deep, and watched the daylight come. Not a sound anywheres -- perfectly still -- just like the whole world was asleep, only sometimes the bullfrogs a-cluttering, maybe. The first thing to see, looking away over the water, was a kind of dull line -- that was the woods on t'other side; you couldn't make nothing else out; then a pale place in the sky; then more paleness spreading around; then the river softened up away off, and warn't black any more, but gray; you could see little dark spots drifting along ever so far away -- trading scows, and such things; and long black streaks -- rafts; sometimes you could hear a sweep screaking; or jumbled up voices, it was so still, and sounds come so far; and by and by you could see a streak on the water which you know by the look of the streak that there's a snag there in a swift current which breaks on it and makes that streak look that way; and you see the mist curl up off of the water, and the east reddens up, and the river, and you make out a log-cabin in the edge of the woods, away on the bank on t'other side of the river, being a woodyard, likely, and piled by them cheats so you can throw a dog through it anywheres; then the nice breeze springs up, and comes fanning you from over there, so cool and fresh and sweet to smell on account of the woods and the flowers; but sometimes not that way, because they've left dead fish laying around, gars and such, and they do get pretty rank; and next you've got the full day, and everything smiling in the sun, and the song-birds just going it!

A little smoke couldn't be noticed now, so we would take some fish off of the lines and cook up a hot breakfast. And afterwards we would watch the lonesomeness of the river, and kind of lazy along, and by and by lazy off to sleep. Wake up by and by, and look to see what done it, and maybe see a steamboat coughing along up-stream, so far off towards the other side you couldn't tell nothing about her only whether she was a stern-wheel or side-wheel; then for about an hour there wouldn't be nothing to hear nor nothing to see -- just solid lonesomeness. Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping, because they're most always doing it on a raft; you'd see the axe flash and come down -- you don't hear nothing; you see that axe go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the K'CHUNK! -- it had took all that time to come over the water. So we would put in the day, lazying around, listening to the stillness. Once there was a thick fog, and the rafts and things that went by was beating tin pans so the steamboats wouldn't run over them. A scow or a raft went by so close we could hear them talking and cussing and laughing -- heard them plain; but we couldn't see no sign of them; it made you feel crawly; it was like spirits carrying on that way in the air. Jim said he believed it was spirits; but I says:

"No; spirits wouldn't say, 'Dern the dern fog.'"

Soon as it was night out we shoved; when we got her out to about the middle we let her alone, and let her float wherever the current wanted her to; then we lit the pipes, and dangled our legs in the water, and talked about all kinds of things -- we was always naked, day and night, whenever the mosquitoes would let us -- the new clothes Buck's folks made for me was too good to be comfortable, and besides I didn't go much on clothes, nohow.

Sometimes we'd have that whole river all to ourselves for the longest time. Yonder was the banks and the islands, across the water; and maybe a spark -- which was a candle in a cabin window; and sometimes on the water you could see a spark or two -- on a raft or a scow, you know; and maybe you could hear a fiddle or a song coming over from one of them crafts. It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened. Jim he allowed they was made, but I allowed they happened; I judged it would have took too long to MAKE so many. Jim said the moon could a LAID them; well, that looked kind of reasonable, so I didn't say nothing against it, because I've seen a frog lay most as many, so of course it could be done. We used to watch the stars that fell, too, and see them streak down. Jim allowed they'd got spoiled and was hove out of the nest.

Once or twice of a night we would see a steamboat slipping along in the dark, and now and then she would belch a whole world of sparks up out of her chimbleys, and they would rain down in the river and look awful pretty; then she would turn a corner and her lights would wink out and her powwow shut off and leave the river still again; and by and by her waves would get to us, a long time after she was gone, and joggle the raft a bit, and after that you wouldn't hear nothing for you couldn't tell how long, except maybe frogs or something.

After midnight the people on shore went to bed, and then for two or three hours the shores was black -- no more sparks in the cabin windows. These sparks was our clock -- the first one that showed again meant morning was coming, so we hunted a place to hide and tie up right away.

One morning about daybreak I found a canoe and crossed over a chute to the main shore -- it was only two hundred yards -- and paddled about a mile up a crick amongst the cypress woods, to see if I couldn't get some berries. Just as I was passing a place where a kind of a cowpath crossed the crick, here comes a couple of men tearing up the path as tight as they could foot it. I thought I was a goner, for whenever anybody was after anybody I judged it was ME -- or maybe Jim. I was about to dig out from there in a hurry, but they was pretty close to me then, and sung out and begged me to save their lives -- said they hadn't been doing nothing, and was being chased for it -- said there was men and dogs a-coming. They wanted to jump right in, but I says:

"Don't you do it. I don't hear the dogs and horses yet; you've got time to crowd through the brush and get up the crick a little ways; then you take to the water and wade down to me and get in -- that'll throw the dogs off the scent."

They done it, and soon as they was aboard I lit out for our towhead, and in about five or ten minutes we heard the dogs and the men away off, shouting. We heard them come along towards the crick, but couldn't see them; they seemed to stop and fool around a while; then, as we got further and further away all the time, we couldn't hardly hear them at all; by the time we had left a mile of woods behind us and struck the river, everything was quiet, and we paddled over to the towhead and hid in the cottonwoods and was safe.

One of these fellows was about seventy or upwards, and had a bald head and very gray whiskers. He had an old battered-up slouch hat on, and a greasy blue woollen shirt, and ragged old blue jeans britches stuffed into his boot-tops, and home-knit galluses -- no, he only had one. He had an old long-tailed blue jeans coat with slick brass buttons flung over his arm, and both of them had big, fat, ratty-looking carpet-bags.

The other fellow was about thirty, and dressed about as ornery. After breakfast we all laid off and talked, and the first thing that come out was that these chaps didn't know one another.

"What got you into trouble?" says the baldhead to t'other chap.

"Well, I'd been selling an article to take the tartar off the teeth -- and it does take it off, too, and generly the enamel along with it -- but I stayed about one night longer than I ought to, and was just in the act of sliding out when I ran across you on the trail this side of town, and you told me they were coming, and begged me to help you to get off. So I told you I was expecting trouble myself, and would scatter out WITH you. That's the whole yarn -- what's yourn?

"Well, I'd ben a-running' a little temperance revival thar 'bout a week, and was the pet of the women folks, big and little, for I was makin' it mighty warm for the rummies, I TELL you, and takin' as much as five or six dollars a night -- ten cents a head, children and niggers free -- and business a-growin' all the time, when somehow or another a little report got around last night that I had a way of puttin' in my time with a private jug on the sly. A nigger rousted me out this mornin', and told me the people was getherin' on the quiet with their dogs and horses, and they'd be along pretty soon and give me 'bout half an hour's start, and then run me down if they could; and if they got me they'd tar and feather me and ride me on a rail, sure. I didn't wait for no breakfast -- I warn't hungry."

"Old man," said the young one, "I reckon we might double-team it together; what do you think?"

"I ain't undisposed. What's your line -- mainly?"

"Jour printer by trade; do a little in patent medicines; theater-actor -- tragedy, you know; take a turn to mesmerism and phrenology when there's a chance; teach singing-geography school for a change; sling a lecture sometimes -- oh, I do lots of things -- most anything that comes handy, so it ain't work. What's your lay?"

"I've done considerble in the doctoring way in my time. Layin' on o' hands is my best holt -- for cancer and paralysis, and sich things; and I k'n tell a fortune pretty good when I've got somebody along to find out the facts for me. Preachin's my line, too, and workin' camp-meetin's, and missionaryin' around."

Nobody never said anything for a while; then the young man hove a sigh and says:

"Alas!"

"What 're you alassin' about?" says the baldhead.

"To think I should have lived to be leading such a life, and be degraded down into such company." And he begun to wipe the corner of his eye with a rag.

"Dern your skin, ain't the company good enough for you?" says the baldhead, pretty pert and uppish.

" Yes, it IS good enough for me; it's as good as I deserve; for who fetched me so low when I was so high? I did myself. I don't blame YOU, gentlemen -- far from it; I don't blame anybody. I deserve it all. Let the cold world do its worst; one thing I know -- there's a grave somewhere for me. The world may go on just as it's always done, and take everything from me -- loved ones, property, everything; but it can't take that. Some day I'll lie down in it and forget it all, and my poor broken heart will be at rest." He went on a-wiping.

"Drot your pore broken heart," says the baldhead; "what are you heaving your pore broken heart at US f'r? WE hain't done nothing."

"No, I know you haven't. I ain't blaming you, gentlemen. I brought myself down -- yes, I did it myself. It's right I should suffer -- perfectly right -- I don't make any moan."

"Brought you down from whar? Whar was you brought down from?"

"Ah, you would not believe me; the world never believes -- let it pass -- 'tis no matter. The secret of my birth --"

"The secret of your birth! Do you mean to say --"

"Gentlemen," says the young man, very solemn, "I will reveal it to you, for I feel I may have confidence in you. By rights I am a duke!"

Jim's eyes bugged out when he heard that; and I reckon mine did, too. Then the baldhead says: "No! you can't mean it?"

"Yes. My great-grandfather, eldest son of the Duke of Bridgewater, fled to this country about the end of the last century, to breathe the pure air of freedom; married here, and died, leaving a son, his own father dying about the same time. The second son of the late duke seized the titles and estates -- the infant real duke was ignored. I am the lineal descendant of that infant -- I am the rightful Duke of Bridgewater; and here am I, forlorn, torn from my high estate, hunted of men, despised by the cold world, ragged, worn, heart-broken, and degraded to the companionship of felons on a raft!"

Jim pitied him ever so much, and so did I. We tried to comfort him, but he said it warn't much use, he couldn't be much comforted; said if we was a mind to acknowledge him, that would do him more good than most anything else; so we said we would, if he would tell us how. He said we ought to bow when we spoke to him, and say "Your Grace," or "My Lord," or "Your Lordship" -- and he wouldn't mind it if we called him plain "Bridgewater," which, he said, was a title anyway, and not a name; and one of us ought to wait on him at dinner, and do any little thing for him he wanted done.

Well, that was all easy, so we done it. All through dinner Jim stood around and waited on him, and says, "Will yo' Grace have some o' dis or some o' dat?" and so on, and a body could see it was mighty pleasing to him.

But the old man got pretty silent by and by -- didn't have much to say, and didn't look pretty comfortable over all that petting that was going on around that duke. He seemed to have something on his mind. So, along in the afternoon, he says:

"Looky here, Bilgewater," he says, "I'm nation sorry for you, but you ain't the only person that's had troubles like that."

"No?"

"No you ain't. You ain't the only person that's ben snaked down wrongfully out'n a high place."

"Alas!"

"No, you ain't the only person that's had a secret of his birth." And, by jings, HE begins to cry.

"Hold! What do you mean?"

"Bilgewater, kin I trust you?" says the old man, still sort of sobbing.

"To the bitter death!" He took the old man by the hand and squeezed it, and says, "That secret of your being: speak!"

"Bilgewater, I am the late Dauphin!"

You bet you, Jim and me stared this time. Then the duke says:

"You are what?"

"Yes, my friend, it is too true -- your eyes is lookin' at this very moment on the pore disappeared Dauphin, Looy the Seventeen, son of Looy the Sixteen and Marry Antonette."

"You! At your age! No! You mean you're the late Charlemagne; you must be six or seven hundred years old, at the very least."

"Trouble has done it, Bilgewater, trouble has done it; trouble has brung these gray hairs and this premature balditude. Yes, gentlemen, you see before you, in blue jeans and misery, the wanderin', exiled, trampled-on, and sufferin' rightful King of France."

Well, he cried and took on so that me and Jim didn't know hardly what to do, we was so sorry -- and so glad and proud we'd got him with us, too. So we set in, like we done before with the duke, and tried to comfort HIM. But he said it warn't no use, nothing but to be dead and done with it all could do him any good; though he said it often made him feel easier and better for a while if people treated him according to his rights, and got down on one knee to speak to him, and always called him "Your Majesty," and waited on him first at meals, and didn't set down in his presence till he asked them. So Jim and me set to majestying him, and doing this and that and t'other for him, and standing up till he told us we might set down. This done him heaps of good, and so he got cheerful and comfortable. But the duke kind of soured on him, and didn't look a bit satisfied with the way things was going; still, the king acted real friendly towards him, and said the duke's great-grandfather and all the other Dukes of Bilgewater was a good deal thought of by HIS father, and was allowed to come to the palace considerable; but the duke stayed huffy a good while, till by and by the king says:

"Like as not we got to be together a blamed long time on this h-yer raft, Bilgewater, and so what's the use o' your bein' sour? It 'll only make things oncomfortable. It ain't my fault I warn't born a duke, it ain't your fault you warn't born a king -- so what's the use to worry? Make the best o' things the way you find 'em, says I -- that's my motto. This ain't no bad thing that we've struck here -- plenty grub and an easy life -- come, give us your hand, duke, and le's all be friends."

The duke done it, and Jim and me was pretty glad to see it. It took away all the uncomfortableness and we felt mighty good over it, because it would a been a miserable business to have any unfriendliness on the raft; for what you want, above all things, on a raft, is for everybody to be satisfied, and feel right and kind towards the others.

It didn't take me long to make up my mind that these liars warn't no kings nor dukes at all, but just low-down humbugs and frauds. But I never said nothing, never let on; kept it to myself; it's the best way; then you don't have no quarrels, and don't get into no trouble. If they wanted us to call them kings and dukes, I hadn't no objections, 'long as it would keep peace in the family; and it warn't no use to tell Jim, so I didn't tell him. If I never learnt nothing else out of pap, I learnt that the best way to get along with his kind of people is to let them have their own way.

两三个白天和夜晚就这么过去了。我看我不妨说是漂过去了，那么宁静、那么顺当、那
么甜美地滑过去了。我们是这样消磨时光的。一到下游那边，只见一条大得吓人的大河——
有的地方河面有一英里半开阔。我们在夜晚行驶；白天，便躲起来。夜快尽了，我们便停止
航行，把筏子靠岸——总是靠在一处沙洲水流平静的地段，然后砍下白杨和柳树的嫩枝，把
木筏子给遮盖起来。随后我们放好钓鱼竿。接下来我们溜下水去，游它一下，提提精神，凉
快凉快。然后我们在沙滩上坐下来，在那里，水只有膝盖深。我们就迎接白天的到来。到处
没有一点儿声音——万籁俱寂——仿佛整个儿世界沉沉入睡了，只是偶然有牛蛙叫几声。往
水面上望去，首先看到的是灰蒙蒙的一条线——那是河对岸的树林子——别的便什么也看不
清——接着是天空中有一点儿鱼肚白；然后鱼肚白多了些，逐渐朝四周散开去；接下来，远
处河水的颜色淡了些，不是那么黑了，而是灰灰的了。更远处，可以看到小小的黑点子在漂
过来——那是些载货的驳船之类。还有黑黑的一长条——那是木筏子。有时能听到长桨吱吱
地响，或者一些杂音。四周这么寂静，声音又来自很远的远方。过了一会儿，你看到一道水
纹。凭了水纹的模样，你知道那里有一块礁石，急流朝着它冲过去，流水飞溅，成了这个模
样。你看到，雾气袅袅上升，离开水面，东方红了起来，河面红了起来。你可以看到对岸河
边树林子边上一处原木搭成的小屋，那可能是一个木材场，在那里堆着的一堆堆木材，中间
却是空的，容得狗钻来钻去，为了能叫人家上当①。然后微风轻拂，从河上一阵阵吹来，那
么凉凉的，那么清新，闻起来那么甜美，这是全凭了那些树林子和那些鲜花的缘故。可有时
候也并非全是如此美妙。因为人们把死鱼扔得到处都是，象尖嘴鱼之类，弄得臭不可闻，然
后是大白天来到了，万物在阳光下微笑，百鸟在争鸣。    ①诺顿版注：当时木材买卖论堆，木头当中的空隙也算在内，因而堆放时往往故意搞成空隙。

到这时，有点儿炊烟不会惹人注意，我们便从鱼钩上取下几条鱼，煮一顿热呼呼的早饭。然后我们便面对着河上的寂寞，懒洋洋地、懒洋洋地睡了过去。等到慢慢醒来，看看情况，也许会看到一只轮船一路喘着气，往上游开去。只因为是在对岸老远的地方，所以除了它的明轮是装在船两旁或是在船尾之外，什么也看不清。并且在一个钟点以后，连听也听不见什么了，看也看不见什么了——留下的只是一片冷清。再隔一个时候，你也许会看到一只木筏老远地滑过水面。也许上面会有一个楞头楞脑的小伙子在劈木柴，因为木筏子上总有人干这个活。你会看到斧头一闪，朝下一劈——声音你是听不到的；又见斧头往上举起，举到人头那么高，然后喀嚓一声——从水上经过一些时间才传到你耳朵里。我们在白天里就是这么懒洋洋，这么懒懒散散，在一片寂静之中凝听着。有一会浓雾沉沉，河上驶过的木筏之类，一路上敲打着白铁锅，免得自己被轮船撞翻。有时候一只驳船或者一只木筏贴近我们开过去，离我们这么近，说话声、咒骂声、调笑声，声声入耳——听得一清二楚，就只是看不见人的影子。这叫人浑身汗毛直竖，仿佛是精灵在天空中显灵。杰姆说，他肯定那是精灵，不过我说：“不，精灵不会说什么‘开（该）死的雾’啊什么的”。没有多久，天黑了，我们就出发。我们漂到河中心的时候，听任它自然地漂，由它随水漂到哪儿就是哪儿。我们点燃了烟斗，两脚泡到水里面，谈天说地——不论白天、黑夜，我们通常总是光着身子，只要没有蚊子咬——勃克家的人给我做的新衣服，做得太讲究了，穿起来浑身不自在。再说，对衣服，我可从来不讲究。有的时候，很长一段时间里，偌大一条大河全归我们所有。那边是河岸，是一些岛屿，和我们隔水相望。也许会有一点微光闪闪——是船舱里的一支烛光——有的时候，你会在河面上见到一两处闪光——是木筏子上的，或是驳船上的。也许你还能听到一处船上传来提琴声或者歌声。生活在木筏子上，这是何等美妙。头上的天空是我们的，正布满着一闪一闪的的星星。我们朝天躺着，仰望着星星。我们议论着这些星星是造出来的呢，还是自然而然地生成的——杰姆认为是造出来的，我呢，认为是自然而然生成的。我断定，要造这么多，该要多少多少时间啊，费的时间太长啦。杰姆说，这些是月亮下的蛋。啊，这仿佛也有道理，因此我没有说什么反对的意见。因为我见到过一只青蛙便能下好多好多的卵，因此这也是做得到的。我们也留心看着星星掉下来，看着它划过天空。杰姆认为，这些星星是变坏了，这才被从窝里扔了出来。每天晚上，我们总有一两回看到一只轮船轻手轻脚在暗地里溜过去，从烟囱里喷出一大簇火花来，象雨点般地落在水面上，煞是好看。然后它拐过一个弯，灯不亮了，吵闹声停下来了，留下的是一片寂静的大河。轮船卷起的水浪，在它开走以后好久才流到我们的面前，把木筏轻轻摇动几下。在这以后，你耳朵里一片寂然，有好长好长一段时间里一片寂然，只是偶然传来青蛙的叫声。半夜过后，岸上的人都上床了。有两三个钟头，岸上一片漆黑——木屋的窗内也看不见灯光了。这些灯光就是我们的钟表——第一道灯光表明早晨正在来临。这样，我们就会马上寻找一处地方，好躲藏起来，并且把木筏子系好①。有一天拂晓时分，我发现了一只独木小船②，便划过了一道狭窄的急流靠到岸边——只有两百码路——然后划进了一英里外柏树林子里一条小河浜，看能不能摘些浆果。我正经过一处牛走的小道，跨进小河滨，忽听得有两个人在小路上飞奔而来。我想这下子我可完啦。因为每逢有人追什么人，我总以为追的是我——要不然，就是杰姆。我正想赶快溜，可是他们已经逼近我了，还喊出了声，苦苦哀求我救他们一命。——还说他们并没有干什么坏事，可人家却要追捕他们——后面正有一伙人带着狗在追来。他们想要马上跳上木筏，不过我说：“别跳。我还没有听到后边的狗和马的声音嘛，你们还有时间闯过灌木林子，往小河浜上游走一小段路，再下到水里，蹚到下边我这里来，然后上木筏子来——这样，狗就闻不到气味啦。”

①诺顿版注：以上是马克·吐温的名篇之一，写了回到了木筏子上的自由天地，写了河上风光，洋溢着抒情色彩。这样的抒写，刚好插在两次有关人类暴行的描叙的中间，一是前面的“打冤家”，另一是后面要写的冒充国王与公爵的丑态；一个有悲剧性，另一个有讽刺喜剧性，插在中间的抒情性，与之形成鲜明对照。②《文库》本注：十六章本来已写到哈克他们已丢失了独木小舟，后来作者续写时写成“我上了那独木小舟”，校清样时发现错了，于是改写成“我找到了一只独木小舟”，这样便可以继续抒写作者所熟悉的密西西比河两岸的风物人情。

他们就照我的话做了。他们一上筏子，我就开往一处沙洲。三五分钟后，我们听到远处狗啊，人啊，吵做一团。从声音听来，他们是往小河浜来的，不过我们没有看到他们。仿佛他们在那里停了下来，转了一会儿。在这个时间里，我们愈走愈远，后来就根本听不见他们的声音了。等到我们离林子一英里多路，驶进了大河，一切平静了下来。我们划到了沙洲那边，躲到了白杨树丛里，就平安无事了。两人中有一个七十岁光景，也许更大些，秃头，胡子快白了。头戴一顶宽边软呢帽，身穿一件油腻腻的蓝色羊毛衬衣，一条破破烂烂的蓝斜纹布旧裤子，裤脚塞在靴筒里，背腰用家织的两条背带吊着——不，只剩了一条了。他胳膊上搭着一件蓝斜纹布旧上衣，钉着亮堂堂的铜扣子，下摆老长①。两人各提着一只用毡子做的又大又肥的旧提包。

①哈克不识燕尾服，才这样形容。

另一个人呢，有三十上下，一样的穷酸打扮。早饭过后，我们躺下来闲聊。首先暴露出来的一件事，却是这两个家伙谁也不认识谁。“你遇到了什么麻烦啦？”秃头问另一个人。“我在推销一种去牙垢的药水——这药水确实能去掉牙垢，往往连牙磁也一块儿去掉——不过，错就错在我不该多住了一个夜晚。我正要溜走的时候，半路上在镇子的这一头碰到了你。你对我说，人家正在追你，要我帮你一把，摆脱他们。我就对你说，我正遇到麻烦，自身难保，那就跟你一道溜之大吉吧。事情的全部经过便是这样，——你的呢？”“啊，我正在那边搞点儿重振戒酒运动的事，大致搞了个把星期。告诉你吧，娘儿们，不论大的小的，都挺宠我，因为我把那些酒鬼描画得够他们受的。一个晚上，我能得五六块大洋——一人一毛，儿童、黑奴免收——生意好兴隆。不料，昨晚上，有人到处散布一个小道消息，说我私下里藏着一罐子酒，自个儿偷偷地喝。今早上，一个黑奴叫醒了我，说人家正在静悄悄集合起来，带着狗，带着马，马上要来聚齐。他们会先放我一码，先走半个钟头，然后他们就追上我。追上以后，肯定要给我浇柏油，撒羽毛，骑木杠①。我没有等到吃早饭就溜啦——反正我不饿②。”“老头子，”那个年轻的说，“我看，我们两个不妨来一搭一档，你看如何？”“我不反对。你的行当——主要的——是什么？”“就职业来说，是个打零工的印刷工人③。还干点儿医药、演员——你知道吧，演悲剧。有机会时，搞点儿催眠和摸头颅算算命。为了换换口味，也曾在歌唱——地理学校教过书，偶尔来次演讲④，——哦，我能干不少行当哩——多半是什么方便就干什么，所以也算不上什么职业。你的行当呢？”⑤“我干的是行医的，干了不少时候。我的拿手好戏是‘按手’——专治癌症，半身不遂，诸如此类⑥。我算个命还挺准的，只要有人替我把事情打听个明白。传道也是我的一行，还有野营会啊，巡回布道啊，等等的。

①《文库》本注：十九世纪美国盛行私刑，南方尤甚。将犯众怒的人身上浇热的柏油，上撒羽毛。另外有一种叫受刑的人骑在一根劈开的圆木尖利的一边上，抬着游街。这类私刑，往往造成重伤，甚至致死。②喝了半夜的酒，故不饿。③四处漂泊打零工的印刷工人。马克·吐温本人十八岁——十九岁时便当过印刷工人。④当时的地理学校，把地理知识编成歌曲教学生唱，以便学生易记。⑤诺顿版注：当时有关西部开发的作品中往往有行骗的流浪汉这类人物，马克·吐温的特色在于把笔下的两个人写得充分的个性化。⑥当时南方落后、迷信，故有这种用祷告、念咒治病的。

大家沉默了一会儿，后来那个年轻人叹了一口气，说道：“可叹啊！”“你叹些什么啊，”秃头说。“我落得如此一个下场，堕落得跟这伙人为伍，想起来也可叹。”他用一块破布头抹抹眼角。“他妈的，这伙人有哪一点配不上你？”秃头说。话说得相当不客气。“是啊，是配得上我，也是我该受的。是谁把我从那么高贵弄成这么低贱？还不是我自己。我不责怪你们，先生们——不光如此，我谁也不怪，是我自作自受。叫冷酷的世界露出它的凶相吧。有一点我是清楚的——反正世界上总有我一块葬身之地。这世界会照样的转，并且从我身边把一切都夺过去——我爱的人，财产，一切的一切——可就是这一个它拿不走。有一天，我将长眠在那里，并且把种种的一切忘得一干二净。我那破碎的心将永久安息。”他一边又擦起泪来。“收起你那可怜见的破碎的心吧！”秃头说，“你那颗可怜见的破碎的心朝着我们唏嘘悲叹干什么呀？我们可没有害过你啊。”“是的，我知道你们没有害过我。先生们，我不是在责怪你们。我自己把自己从上面掉了下来，——是的，我咎由自取。我理当受难——完全活该——我决不哼一声。”“从什么地方掉了下来？你从什么地方把自己掉了下来？”“啊，说来你们也不会相信。全世界也永远不会相信——随它去吧——一切无关紧要。我出身的那个秘密——”“你出身的秘密？你的意思是说——”“先生们，”那个年轻人非常庄严地说，“我现在向你们透露，因为我觉得我对你们是信任的。从出身的权利来说，我是一个公爵。”一听见这话，杰姆的眼睛鼓鼓的。我看啊，我自己也如此。随后，秃头说，“不！你不可能是这个意思。”“是的。我的曾祖父，勃里奇华特公爵的长子，在上世纪末，逃亡到这个国家来，好呼吸最纯粹的自由的空气。在这里结的婚，死在这个国家，留下了一个儿子，而他自己的父亲呢，也差不多在同一个时候逝世的。已故公爵的次子夺取了爵位和财产——可那个真正的公爵、那个婴儿，却被抛在一边。我就是那个婴儿的直系后代——我才是名正言顺的勃里奇华特公爵。如今我就在这里，形单影只，被剥夺了高位的尊荣，遭到人家的追捕，冷酷的世界白眼相加，衣衫褴褛，心灵破碎，落难到与木筏子上的罪人为伍！”杰姆对他无限同情，我也如此。我们试图安慰安慰他。不过他说，这于事无补，他不可能得到多大安慰。他说，要是我们有心认可他是公爵，那就会比任何其它的事更有价值了。我们就说我们有心，并且问他该怎么一个做法。他说，我们该在对他说话的时候对他鞠躬，并且称他为“大人”，或者说“我的爵爷”，或者“爵爷大人”——还说，如果我们光称他为“勃里奇华特”，他也不会介意。他说，那反正是一个封号，而不是一个人的姓名。还说，在吃饭的时候，我们应该有一个人在他边上侍候他，还做些他希望他们干的零星小事。啊，这好办，我们就照办了。吃饭的时候，杰姆自始至终站在边上，侍候着他，还说，“大人，你来点这个，或者来点那个？”如此等等。旁人一看就知道他对这样做挺满意。不过那个老头儿一会儿不作声了——没有多话要说的，对围着公爵团团转的吹捧那一套，仿佛不很舒服，好象他心里有些什么。所以到了下午，他开口了：“听我说，毕奇华特，”①他说，“我真是为你难过极了，不过嘛，象你那样落难的，你可并非是唯一的一个。”

①冒充的公爵自称是勃里奇华特（Bridgewater）公爵，老头儿仿佛不经意，念成了毕奇华特（Bildgewater）公爵。毕奇华特，乃船舱里的污水，又脏又臭，这是水上人家都知道的。

“不是唯一的一个？”“不是的。你不是唯一的一个。象你这样从高位给人家违反正义，一口咬住，拖下来的，可并不是唯一的一个。”“可叹啊！”“不，怀有出身的秘密的，你并非是唯一的一个。”真糟糕，他竟哭了起来。“等一等！你这是什么意思？”“毕奇华特，我能信得过你么？”那老头儿说，一边还不停地呜呜咽咽。“我要是靠不住，天诛地灭。”他握住了老头儿的手，紧紧握着，并且说，“把你的来历的秘密说出来吧！”“毕奇华特，我是当年的法国皇太子！”你准能猜得到，这一回啊，杰姆和我可吓了一大跳。随后公爵说：“你是什么啊？”“是的，我的朋友，——这可是千真万确——你的眼睛现今这一刻看到的是可怜的、失踪的路埃十七，路埃十六和曼雷·安东纳特的儿子①。”“你呀！就凭你这个岁数！没有那么回事②！你莫非要说你是当年的查理曼么③？至少至少，你非得是六百岁、七百岁的人吧。”

①骗子把路易说成路埃，把安东埃纳特说成安东纳特，连国王、王后的名字都说不全。②诺顿版注：法国王太子如果当时活着，应该只有五十多岁，可见冒充者的年龄不合。③查理曼，佛兰克斯和罗马帝国大帝，死于８１４年。

“都怨我遭的劫难啊，毕奇华特。劫难招来了这一切。劫难叫我头发白了，额头未老先秃。是啊，先生们，你们看到了，在你们面前，是身穿蓝布裤子，身陷灾祸、漂泊、流亡、被糟塌、受苦受难的合法的法国国王。”啊，他一边说，一边伤心痛哭，叫我和杰姆简直不知道怎么办才好。我们非常难过——又非常高兴，非常骄傲，因为能有他和我们在一起。于是我们就凑上前来，象刚才对待公爵那样，试图安慰安慰他。不过他说，这于事无补，除非人死了，一了百了。不过他又说，要是人家按他的名分对待他，对他说话时，双膝跪下，并且总是称呼他“皇上”，吃饭时第一件事是侍奉他，在他面前非经面谕，不敢坐下。如果那样的话，他总会感觉到舒服一些，好过一些。因此，杰姆和我就称呼他为皇上，为了侍候他，做这做那，当他的面站得直挺挺的，一直要等到他发了话。叫我们坐下为止。这样百般地侍候他，他就变得高兴起来，舒坦起来了。不过公爵对他还有点儿酸溜溜的，对这般光景仿佛有所不满。可国王还是主动对他表示真情实意的友好。国王说，公爵的曾祖父和其他的毕奇华特公爵曾经得到他先父的恩宠，经常被召入宫内。只是公爵还是有好长时间在睹气。后来国王说：“毕奇华特，说不定我们得在这个木筏子上，耽在一起一个相当长的时光，你这样酸溜溜的有什么用呢？只能叫大家心里不痛快。我并非生来就是一个公爵，这不是我的过错；你并非生来就是一个国王，这也不是你的过错——因此，干吗要烦那个心？我说啊，随遇而安——这是我的座右铭。我们碰巧在这里相聚，这也并非是件坏事——吃的还丰富，活的还清闲——好，把你的手给我，公爵，让我们交个朋友。”公爵依着他的话做了。杰姆和我眼见这一切，心里挺高兴的。种种不快，一扫而光，我们都觉得高高兴兴的。如果在木筏子上彼此不和，这该多么倒霉，在木筏子上，人家图的便是能一个个感到心满意足，对别人合情合理，和和气气。我无需多长时间，就在心里断定了：根本不是什么国王、公爵，而是下三烂、骗子手。不过我从没有说出口来，从没有露出口风，只是自个儿心里明白。还是这样最好，免得争吵，也不致招来麻烦。要是他们要我们称呼他们皇上，公爵什么的，我们也不反对，只要这一家子能保个太平。再说，把实情告诉杰姆，也没有什么好处，所以我就没有告诉他。也许从我爸爸那里我从没有学到什么有益的东西，只是除了一件，那就是，和这么一类人相处，最好的办法是：他们爱干什么，就随他们干什么。