马丁·伊登(MARTIN EDEN)第三十二章
Promptly, the next afternoon, Maria was excited by Martin's second visitor. But she did not lose her head this time, for she seated Brissenden in her parlor's grandeur of respectability.
"Hope you don't mind my coming?" Brissenden began.
"No, no, not at all," Martin answered, shaking hands and waving him to the solitary chair, himself taking to the bed. "But how did you know where I lived?"
"Called up the Morses. Miss Morse answered the 'phone. And here I am." He tugged at his coat pocket and flung a thin volume on the table. "There's a book, by a poet. Read it and keep it." And then, in reply to Martin's protest: "What have I to do with books? I had another hemorrhage this morning. Got any whiskey? No, of course not. Wait a minute."
He was off and away. Martin watched his long figure go down the outside steps, and, on turning to close the gate, noted with a pang the shoulders, which had once been broad, drawn in now over, the collapsed ruin of the chest. Martin got two tumblers, and fell to reading the book of verse, Henry Vaughn Marlow's latest collection.
"No Scotch," Brissenden announced on his return. "The beggar sells nothing but American whiskey. But here's a quart of it."
"I'll send one of the youngsters for lemons, and we'll make a toddy," Martin offered.
"I wonder what a book like that will earn Marlow?" he went on, holding up the volume in question.
"Possibly fifty dollars," came the answer. "Though he's lucky if he pulls even on it, or if he can inveigle a publisher to risk bringing it out."
"Then one can't make a living out of poetry?"
Martin's tone and face alike showed his dejection.
"Certainly not. What fool expects to? Out of rhyming, yes. There's Bruce, and Virginia Spring, and Sedgwick. They do very nicely. But poetry - do you know how Vaughn Marlow makes his living? - teaching in a boys' cramming-joint down in Pennsylvania, and of all private little hells such a billet is the limit. I wouldn't trade places with him if he had fifty years of life before him. And yet his work stands out from the ruck of the contemporary versifiers as a balas ruby among carrots. And the reviews he gets! Damn them, all of them, the crass manikins!"
"Too much is written by the men who can't write about the men who do write," Martin concurred. "Why, I was appalled at the quantities of rubbish written about Stevenson and his work."
"Ghouls and harpies!" Brissenden snapped out with clicking teeth. "Yes, I know the spawn - complacently pecking at him for his Father Damien letter, analyzing him, weighing him - "
"Measuring him by the yardstick of their own miserable egos," Martin broke in.
"Yes, that's it, a good phrase, - mouthing and besliming the True, and Beautiful, and Good, and finally patting him on the back and saying, 'Good dog, Fido.' Faugh! 'The little chattering daws of men,' Richard Realf called them the night he died."
"Pecking at star-dust," Martin took up the strain warmly; "at the meteoric flight of the master-men. I once wrote a squib on them - the critics, or the reviewers, rather."
"Let's see it," Brissenden begged eagerly.
So Martin unearthed a carbon copy of "Star-dust," and during the reading of it Brissenden chuckled, rubbed his hands, and forgot to sip his toddy.
"Strikes me you're a bit of star-dust yourself, flung into a world of cowled gnomes who cannot see," was his comment at the end of it. "Of course it was snapped up by the first magazine?"
Martin ran over the pages of his manuscript book. "It has been refused by twenty-seven of them."
Brissenden essayed a long and hearty laugh, but broke down in a fit of coughing.
"Say, you needn't tell me you haven't tackled poetry," he gasped. "Let me see some of it."
"Don't read it now," Martin pleaded. "I want to talk with you. I'll make up a bundle and you can take it home."
Brissenden departed with the "Love-cycle," and "The Peri and the Pearl," returning next day to greet Martin with:-
"I want more."
Not only did he assure Martin that he was a poet, but Martin learned that Brissenden also was one. He was swept off his feet by the other's work, and astounded that no attempt had been made to publish it.
"A plague on all their houses!" was Brissenden's answer to Martin's volunteering to market his work for him. "Love Beauty for its own sake," was his counsel, "and leave the magazines alone. Back to your ships and your sea - that's my advice to you, Martin Eden. What do you want in these sick and rotten cities of men? You are cutting your throat every day you waste in them trying to prostitute beauty to the needs of magazinedom. What was it you quoted me the other day? - Oh, yes, 'Man, the latest of the ephemera.' Well, what do you, the latest of the ephemera, want with fame? If you got it, it would be poison to you. You are too simple, took elemental, and too rational, by my faith, to prosper on such pap. I hope you never do sell a line to the magazines. Beauty is the only master to serve. Serve her and damn the multitude! Success! What in hell's success if it isn't right there in your Stevenson sonnet, which outranks Henley's 'Apparition,' in that 'Love-cycle,' in those sea-poems?
"It is not in what you succeed in doing that you get your joy, but in the doing of it. You can't tell me. I know it. You know it. Beauty hurts you. It is an everlasting pain in you, a wound that does not heal, a knife of flame. Why should you palter with magazines? Let beauty be your end. Why should you mint beauty into gold? Anyway, you can't; so there's no use in my getting excited over it. You can read the magazines for a thousand years and you won't find the value of one line of Keats. Leave fame and coin alone, sign away on a ship to-morrow, and go back to your sea."
"Not for fame, but for love," Martin laughed. "Love seems to have no place in your Cosmos; in mine, Beauty is the handmaiden of Love."
Brissenden looked at him pityingly and admiringly. "You are so young, Martin boy, so young. You will flutter high, but your wings are of the finest gauze, dusted with the fairest pigments. Do not scorch them. But of course you have scorched them already. It required some glorified petticoat to account for that 'Love-cycle,' and that's the shame of it."
"It glorifies love as well as the petticoat," Martin laughed.
"The philosophy of madness," was the retort. "So have I assured myself when wandering in hasheesh dreams. But beware. These bourgeois cities will kill you. Look at that den of traitors where I met you. Dry rot is no name for it. One can't keep his sanity in such an atmosphere. It's degrading. There's not one of them who is not degrading, man and woman, all of them animated stomachs guided by the high intellectual and artistic impulses of clams - "
He broke off suddenly and regarded Martin. Then, with a flash of divination, he saw the situation. The expression on his face turned to wondering horror.
"And you wrote that tremendous 'Love-cycle' to her - that pale, shrivelled, female thing!"
The next instant Martin's right hand had shot to a throttling clutch on his throat, and he was being shaken till his teeth rattled. But Martin, looking into his eyes, saw no fear there, - naught but a curious and mocking devil. Martin remembered himself, and flung Brissenden, by the neck, sidelong upon the bed, at the same moment releasing his hold.
Brissenden panted and gasped painfully for a moment, then began to chuckle.
"You had made me eternally your debtor had you shaken out the flame," he said.
"My nerves are on a hair-trigger these days," Martin apologized. "Hope I didn't hurt you. Here, let me mix a fresh toddy."
"Ah, you young Greek!" Brissenden went on. "I wonder if you take just pride in that body of yours. You are devilish strong. You are a young panther, a lion cub. Well, well, it is you who must pay for that strength."
"What do you mean?" Martin asked curiously, passing aim a glass. "Here, down this and be good."
"Because - " Brissenden sipped his toddy and smiled appreciation of it. "Because of the women. They will worry you until you die, as they have already worried you, or else I was born yesterday. Now there's no use in your choking me; I'm going to have my say. This is undoubtedly your calf love; but for Beauty's sake show better taste next time. What under heaven do you want with a daughter of the bourgeoisie? Leave them alone. Pick out some great, wanton flame of a woman, who laughs at life and jeers at death and loves one while she may. There are such women, and they will love you just as readily as any pusillanimous product of bourgeois sheltered life."
"Pusillanimous?" Martin protested.
"Just so, pusillanimous; prattling out little moralities that have been prattled into them, and afraid to live life. They will love you, Martin, but they will love their little moralities more. What you want is the magnificent abandon of life, the great free souls, the blazing butterflies and not the little gray moths. Oh, you will grow tired of them, too, of all the female things, if you are unlucky enough to live. But you won't live. You won't go back to your ships and sea; therefore, you'll hang around these pest-holes of cities until your bones are rotten, and then you'll die."
"You can lecture me, but you can't make me talk back," Martin said. "After all, you have but the wisdom of your temperament, and the wisdom of my temperament is just as unimpeachable as yours."
They disagreed about love, and the magazines, and many things, but they liked each other, and on Martin's part it was no less than a profound liking. Day after day they were together, if for no more than the hour Brissenden spent in Martin's stuffy room. Brissenden never arrived without his quart of whiskey, and when they dined together down-town, he drank Scotch and soda throughout the meal. He invariably paid the way for both, and it was through him that Martin learned the refinements of food, drank his first champagne, and made acquaintance with Rhenish wines.
But Brissenden was always an enigma. With the face of an ascetic, he was, in all the failing blood of him, a frank voluptuary. He was unafraid to die, bitter and cynical of all the ways of living; and yet, dying, he loved life, to the last atom of it. He was possessed by a madness to live, to thrill, "to squirm my little space in the cosmic dust whence I came," as he phrased it once himself. He had tampered with drugs and done many strange things in quest of new thrills, new sensations. As he told Martin, he had once gone three days without water, had done so voluntarily, in order to experience the exquisite delight of such a thirst assuaged. Who or what he was, Martin never learned. He was a man without a past, whose future was the imminent grave and whose present was a bitter fever of living.
紧接着玛利亚在第二天下午又因马丁的第二个客人而激动了。这一次她不再手忙脚乱,因为她把布里森登请到她那接待贵宾的豪华客厅里坐下了。
“我来拜访你不会介意吧?”布里森登说道。
“不,不,一点也不,”马丁一面和他握手一面回答,然后挥手请他在唯一的椅子上坐了下来。自己坐在了床上。“你是怎么知道我的地址的?”
“给莫尔斯家打了电话,莫尔斯小姐回了话,我就来了。”他从外衣口袋里扯出一本薄薄的书扔在桌上。“有一个诗人的集子。读一读吧,送给你了。”接着,他回答马丁的抗议道:“我拿书有什么用?今天早上我又吐了一次血。有威士忌么?没有,当然。等一等。”
他转身便走掉了。马丁望着他那瘦长的身影蜇下了外面的台阶,发现在他转身关门时那原本宽阔的肩膀已在塔拉的胸膛两边垂落,不禁感到心酸。马丁拿出了两个酒杯,开始读起那诗集,那是亨利·伏恩·马罗最新的集于。
“没有苏格兰威士忌,”布里森登回来说,“那叫花子除了美国威士忌什么也没有。只好买了一夸脱。”
“我打发一个小家伙去买点柠檬,我们做柠檬威士忌甜酒喝,”马丁建议。
“我不知道像这样一本书能给马罗带来什么?”马丁拿起诗集说下去。
“也许五十元吧,”回答是,“如果他能收支平衡,或是能骗到个出版家冒险给他出版,就算是万幸的了。”
“那么说,靠写诗吃饭是不行的了?”
马丁的口气和脸色都显得沮丧。
“当然不行,哪个傻瓜会那么想呢?凑凑韵能吃饭,比如布路斯、弗吉尼亚·斯普玲,还有塞季成克。要写诗么,你知道伏恩·马罗靠什么过日于?——靠远在宾夕法尼亚州一个填鸭式的男校教书。在所有私立的小地狱里这种地方是最糟糕的。哪怕他还能活五十年我也不愿意跟他交换地位。但是他的作品在同时代的凑韵诗人里可是有如胡萝卜堆里的红宝石。但是对他的评论呢!全他妈的扯谈,一批愚蠢的休儒写的!”
“是些不知道怎样评论作品的人写的,这种人太多了,”马丁表示赞成。“研究史蒂文森和他的作品的卑劣之作就太多,多得叫我害怕。”
“吃死人的僵尸,女身鸟爪怪!”布里森登咬牙切齿地叫道,“是的,我知道这帮妖精。因为他为达米安神甫写的那封信就得意扬扬地啄他的肉,撕扯他,折磨他——”
“以小人之心度君子之腹。”马丁插嘴说。
‘对,这话正好不过——满嘴真善美却糟蹋着真善美,最后还拍拍真善美它的肩膀说,‘好狗好狗,忠心耿耿。’滚吧!理查·瑞尔夫弥留那天晚上把他们叫做:喳喳叫的小乌鸦,叫对了。”
“在大师们流星一般迅速地飞翔时,”马丁热情地接下话头,“专跟星尘找茬的家伙。我写过一篇文章讽刺他们——那些找茬专家,亦称书评家。”
“让我看看。”布里森登兴致勃勃地提出要求。
于是马丁翻找出一份复写的《星尘》,布里森登一边读一边格格地笑,搓着手,忘掉了威士忌甜苏打。
“我的印象是:你就是一个坠落到凡间的星尘,被扔进一群戴了风帽的没有眼睛的作儒之间。”他看完稿子说,“当然,第一家杂志就会叼住它不放的。”
马丁翻了翻自己的稿件记录本。
“已经被二十七家杂志退了稿。”
布里森登开怀大笑,笑了许久,却痛苦地呛咳起来。
“喂,你用不着告诉我说你没有写过诗,”他喘着大气说,“拿几首来看看。”
“现在先别看,”马丁请求,“我还想和你谈谈。我把诗扎成一扎,你带回去看。”
布级森登带走了《爱情组诗》和《仙女与珍珠》,第二天地回来了,对马丁提出:——
“再给我一点。”
他肯定马丁是个诗人,也让马丁知道了他也是个诗人。马丁被他的作品弄得神魂颠倒,却大吃了一惊,原来他根本没有打算拿它们去发表。
“让那些出版社滚蛋吧!”马丁主动要求帮他投稿,他却回答。“为美而爱美吧,”他劝告说,“别去找杂志社了。回到你的船上去,海上去——这是我对你的忠告,马丁·伊登。你在把日于一天一天地浪费,想把美当婊子出卖,去满足杂志王国的要求。那只是在割自己的脖子而已。你那天对我引用过的话是谁说的?——哦,对了,‘人呀,最后的蜉蝣。’你这个‘最后的蜉蝣’拿名气来干什么?你要是出了名,反倒会中毒的。照我看你太年纯,太本色,太理智,靠这种东西是好不起来的。我倒希望你一行也没有法子卖给杂志。你要侍奉的唯一主人就是美。侍奉他吧,让苦芙众生下地狱去!成功!你的成功已经在你的《爱情组诗种为斯蒂文森写的那首十四行诗里了,已经在你那些海洋诗里了。那不是成功是什么?那比亨雷的《幽灵》还要好呢。
“你获得欢乐不在取得成功,而在写作本身。你不会告诉我,可我明白,你也知道美煎熬着你,使你永远痛苦,是个无法痊愈的伤口,是一把烈焰熊熊的利剑。你干吗去和杂志打交道?就把美当作你的目标好了,为什么要把它变作黄金?好在你做不到,我倒不必激动。读上一千年杂志,你发现的价值也比不上一行济慈的诗。丢开金钱和名誉吧,明天就签合同上船去,回到你的大海去。”
“不是为了名誉,而是为了爱情,”马丁哈哈大笑,“在你的宇宙里似乎没有爱情的地位;可在我的宇宙里,美不过是爱情的婢女。”
布里森登怜悯地也佩服地望望他。“你这么年轻,马丁孩子,这么年轻。你想高飞,可是你的翅膀是最精致的薄绍做的,画上了最美丽的颜色。可别让它们给烧焦了,当然,你已经把它们烧焦了。要解释那些爱情诗需要找一个打扮得光彩照人的小姐,丢脸的地方就在这儿。”
“让小见光彩照人,也让爱情光彩照人。”马丁哈哈大笑。
“疯狂的哲学,”对方驳斥道,“我在那些风魔的梦里也拿这话安慰过自己。可你要小心,这些资产阶级的城市是会杀死你的。你看看那个生意人的南吧,我是在那里遇见你的。说它腐朽是不够的,在它那气氛里人就清醒不了,它叫人堕落,没有一个人不堕落,男的,女的,全都是些行尸走肉,指引他们的是跟蚌亮一样的聪明和艺术冲动——”
他突然住了嘴,望了望马丁,然后灵机一动,明白过来。脸上的表情变作了惶惑的恐怖。
“你那惊人之作《爱情组诗》原来是为她写的,为那个苍白、干瘪的女人写的!”
转瞬之间马丁的右手已经伸出,紧紧攫住了布里森登的喉头,直摇得他的牙齿答答作响。可是马丁在他的服服却没有看见丝毫畏惧——除了一副惊奇与嘲弄的魔鬼表情之外什么也没有。马丁这才回过神来,揪住脖子一把把布里森登横摔在床上,才放了手。
布里森登痛苦地、大口大口地喘了一会地气,格格地笑了/
“你若是把我那点火焰摇灭了,我可要永远感谢你了。”他说。
“我这些日子烦得快要爆炸了,”马丁道歉说,“希望没有伤害了你。来,让我新调一杯甜威士忌苏打吧。”
“啊,好个棒小伙!”布里森登说了下去,“我不知道你是否以你那副身坯为骄傲。体壮得像个魔鬼,是只小豹子,小狮子。好了好了,你得为你那身力气付出代价的。”
“你是什么意思?”马丁好奇地问,递给他一杯饮料。“喝了吧,以后乖乖的。”
“因为——”布里森登啜着甜酒,很欣赏,微笑了。“因为女人。她们会缠住你,直到把你缠死。她们已经缠过你了,要不然我就算是昨天才出世的奶娃。你把我掐死也没有用;我有话还得说。毫无疑问这是你的童稚之恋;为了美的缘故,下一回回味可要高一点。你拿一个资产阶级小姐有什么用?别沾她们的边。找一个嘲笑生活。戏弄死亡、说爱就爱、火一样燃烧的了不起的女人去爱吧,这样的女人有的是,她们会爱你,不亚于任何一个资产阶级闺阁里培养出的娇小姐。”
“娇小姐?”马丁抗议。
“对,就是娇,娇娇滴滴地说些从别人那里听来的道德信条,害怕生活。她们会爱你,马丁,但是她们会更爱她们那些琐碎的道德信条。你需要的是痛快淋漓不受压抑的生活,是伟大的自由的灵魂,是绚烂的蝴蝶,而不是灰色的小飞蛾。哦,所有那些女人都会叫你厌烦的,如果你倒了霉,老是不死的话。不过你不肯生活,不肯回到你的海洋和船上去;因此就绕着城市里这些瘟疫的洞窟转,等到你腐败到骨头里的时候,你就会死去。”
“你可以训斥我,但是你无法让我跟你辩论,”马丁说,“归根到底你的见解来自你的性格,而我这来自我自己性格的见解也和你的一样无懈可击。”
两人在对待爱情、杂志和许多问题上的看法都有分歧,但是两人彼此却很喜欢,而马丁的喜欢又很深沉。他们俩天天见面,尽管有时只是布里森登在马丁那令人气闷的屋里呆上一小时。布里森登每一次未必要带一夸脱酒,两人在市中心吃饭时他从头到尾总喝威士忌苏打。他总是付两人的车费,马丁是通过他才明白了食物的美妙的。他喝到了第一杯香按,也见识了莱因葡萄酒。
但是布里森登永远是个谜。他一脸苦行僧相,体质也越来越弱,可他却是个毫不讳言的酒色之徒。他不畏惧死,对种种生活方式都辛辣尖刻,愤世嫉俗,但是他虽然快要死去,却仍然热爱生命,丝毫不放。一种要活下去、要快活地活下去的狂热攫住了他。他要“在我所从来的宇宙尘埃的空间里玩个够。”他有一次这么说。为了追求新的刺激和感受,他玩过毒品,做过许多古怪的事。他还告诉马丁他曾经三天不喝水。那是自愿的,为了要体验极端的口渴解除时的奇妙的欢乐。马丁从来不知道他是什么人,从哪儿来。他是个没有过去的人;他的未来是即将出现的坟墓;而他的现在就是生活里这苦涩的狂热。