It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands.

The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.

Other features:

Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.

OK = ats aww-right

cancel = hail no

reset = aw shoot

yes = shore

no = Naaaa

find = hunt-fer it

go to = over yonder

back = back yonder

help = hep me out here

stop = ternit off

start = crank it up

settings = sittins

programs = stuff at does stuff

documents = stuff I done done

Also note that WINDERS 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 98

tiperiter...................A word processor

colering book...............a graphics program

addin mershene..............calculator

outhouse paper .............notepad

jupe-box....................CD Player

inner-net...................Microsoft Explorer

pichers.....................A graphics viewer

IRS.........................M/S accounting software

IRS2........................M/S accounting software

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Alabama edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.