1651
So I went in and gave him
a little attention. Okay?

1652
He's learning to self-soothe.

1653
These setbacks are disastrous
for his development.

1654
The child is adorable,

1655
but you're not raising
Little Buddha over here.

1656
Mom.
What are you saying?

1657
I'm saying that
I've seen that kid eat

1658
at least 15 boogers
since he's been here

1659
and I've got news for you,
Jack,

1660
prodigies don't eat
their own boogers.

1661
And I have news for you.
Prodigies don't come in 10th place

1662
every time either.

1663
Okay, Dad. That's my fianc?

1664
I'm sorry.
I've never seen people

1665
celebrate mediocrity
the way you do.

1666
Because we love our son?
We hug our son?

1667
Let's get down to it.
The truth is,

1668
you're so concerned about
that Little Jack, but I think

1669
that it's the
Little Jack in you

1670
who's crying out for a hug.

1671
The Little Jack in me?

1672
Jack, you have issues.

1673
I'm trying to understand
why you run around

1674
with a rubber boob
strapped to your chest.

1675
Were you ever breastfed?

1676
Mom, stop.
Key question.

1677
My guess is no.

1678
Spare me
the drugstore psychology.

1679
Everybody! All right.
Everybody just...

1680
Everybody just stop, okay?

1681
Jack, I am not going
to make any excuses. Yes,

1682
Little Jack wouldn't stop
crying so I gave him some hugs

1683
and I let him watch TV.

1684
I went to answer the phone, I
was gone a second, I came back in,

1685
he let himself out of the
playpen, he put on Scarface,

1686
and he glued his hands
to the rum bottle. Okay?

1687
That's it.

1688
Oh. That's it

1689
Greg just said, ''That's it.''
So I feel much better now.

1690
Daddy, would you mind...

1691
Please, Daddy. He made
an honest mistake. Let it go.

1692
He's fine, Greg.
He's asleep.

1693
He spoke.

1694
Asshole.

1695
What?

1696
Did he say what
I am thinking?

1697
I think he did.

1698
Little Jack,
what did you just say?

1699
Asshole.

1700
His first word?