GRE6分作文点评:对题材的深刻理解b
(这里谈得好象都是secondary school教育的目的,非常精彩,但有些扯远了!) What is important is that secondary students develop and grow in the hands of the professionals. (最后一句才点了一下学生和老师的关系)
The secondary educational experience is designed to prepare a student for college. It is in collegeswheresthe individual learns to examine the world and how it works, and the individual's place in it.
(这句话我觉得对于全文没有太大意义,完全可以去掉!)
As for duty, it is the educators' duty not simply to determine the curriculum, but to present it effectively. They cannot half-heartedly paint it on the blackboard, they must enliven it and actually teach. Hard work must be lauded, while freeloaders are punished. (教师的责任) These are the duties of teachers, and the duty of the students is not just to learn or study, but to grow. An independent mind is what students need, and that mind has to be in a position to want and be able to question beyond the material presented, not simply to question its legitimacy。
(学生的责任,不仅仅要质疑教学内容的合理性,更重要的是要敢于探索教学内容以外的新东西) That distinction,(是指质疑教学内容与探索新东西之间的区别吗?)
though subtle, is the difference between letting the students follow a self-destructive course of premature self-determination on the one hand , and permitting on the other hand the fostering of great talents through a cooperative, mentoring relationship最后一句话非常费解,作者的意思可能是说,学生对校方提供的课程内容的质疑(学生决定课程)其实是一种盲目的早熟,会毁了学生的前途,而鼓励学生的探索精神,独立精神则只能由老师、学生的通力合作才能达到,呼应了本文的开头,总结全文。
总体评价:
1,这篇文章的布局结构比较随意,有几处稍加改进,文章就好读多了,而内容不会损害。这点不值得我们学习。
2,前半部分谈“学生决定课程”的弊端,实际是同意了提干的说法(It is the educators' duty to determine the curriculum and the students' duty to study what is presented to them)。虽然论证有力,文笔精彩。但我个人觉得这一部分作用不大。因为作者本身就不同意“学生决定课程”现象的存在,说明在作者眼里,这个问题并不重要,那为什么还要花这么大篇幅论述该现象的弊端?难道作者担心字数不够?
3,精彩部分是第四段以后对教师与学生关系的论述。这里涉及到了很多作者对教育本质和目的的深刻见解。不少句子简直就像格言一样精粹、深刻。作者的思想源源不断的涌出,感觉好像是文章的形式和字数限制束缚了思想的自由表达。刚开始读时,以为作者跑题,但仔细研读,会发现作者思维逻辑是严谨的,只不过由于形式的束缚,没有明明白白的说出来,给读者留下了思考的空间。文章最后一句非常有深度,不仔细体会,根本理解不了。作者肯定对哲学有着浓厚的兴趣,要不然他怎么能在短时间内写出这么深的句子?
4,关于语言,用词非常精炼老到,句式变换随心所欲。但是,我觉得个别句子有故意卖弄文采和假装深沉之嫌,毕竟这篇文章的大部分内容还是比较平淡的,没必要写得像哲学著作。
结论:
1,这篇文章值得细读至少3遍。
2,该文不值得我们模仿。一我们大多数人不具备这么强的语言把握能力(大牛除外),强行模仿它的风格可能会弄巧成拙。二是我们大多人还没有这么深刻的观察思考能力(大牛除外,学不了)。
3,一些精彩句子、闪光词汇可以背下来,这因人而异。