男士必看:5句话绝对不能对女朋友说
1. "I Don't Like Your Friends."
“我不喜欢你朋友。”
You don't like her friends. It happens. It actually happens often. In fact, she doesn't really like your friends, but she probably won't come right out and say it. Unless the women she spends time with are horrible influences on her life, or do things to jeopardize your relationship, there is really nothing you can do about her circle of friends.
你不喜欢她的朋友很正常,也时有发生。其实她也不太喜欢你朋友 ,但她可能不会站出来说这样的话。除非与她共处的朋友给她的生活带来很不好的影响,或者做了什么危害你们关系的事,否则你还真的不能拿她的朋友们怎么办。
Instead Say: "We should meet some new people."
相反你可以说:“我们应该交些新朋友。”
Every couple has other couples they regularly hang out with. A new couple might be the solution to your issue with her friends: She makes new friends and spends less time with the old crew.
每对情侣都经常和其他情侣一起出去玩,找一对新的情侣朋友也许就能解决你和她朋友之间的问题了:她有了新朋友,和老朋友在一起的时间自然就少了。
2. "Are You Putting On Weight?"
“你是胖了吗?”
This one barely needs explanation. If she's put on weight, chances are she's already well aware of that herself. The last thing she needs is for her boyfriend to point it out.
这条几乎不需要解释,如果她体重增加了,那很有可能她自己已经知道了,她最不希望这件事从男朋友嘴里说出来。
Instead Say: "Let's do something active today. I'm feeling out of shape."
相反你可以说:“今天咱们锻炼锻炼吧,我感觉最近身材走样了。”
If you do believe she's putting on weight, then your ultimate goal is for her to eat better and exercise. Instead of letting her know that you've noticed she's gone up a size or two (and trust us, she knows already), shift the focus to committing to being healthier together. The focus will then be on sharing healthy activities together, rather than on her weight gain.
如果你真觉着她胖了,那你的最终目的就是要让她吃得好、多锻炼。不要让她知道你注意到她的衣服大了一码或两码(相信我们,她已经知道了),你要把注意力转移到你们共同追求健康的问题上。要让她注意到你们一起减肥,而不是关注她体重的增加。
3. "You Look Awful In That Outfit."
“你今天打扮得不好看。”
Men make jokes or just openly complain about the amount of time a woman spends getting ready. Looking good takes time and women spend a good portion of that time in preparation -- from picking out clothes and shoes to the color of her hair and nails. Even the best of preparation doesn't ensure she'll be happy with the result, so saying she looks bad in an outfit shows zero consideration.
男人会这样开玩笑或者只是公开地在抱怨女人打扮的时间太长了。打扮漂亮需要时间,女人要花费大量时间准备——从挑选衣服鞋子到头发和指甲的颜色。甚至最精致的装扮都不能保证最后她会满意,所以,说她打扮得不漂亮就是你欠考虑。
Instead Say: "I just don't like that outfit."
相反你可以说:“我不喜欢那种装扮。”
If you must voice your displeasure in her appearance, it's best to blame the outfit and not the person underneath. If you don't like the way she looks in a dress, shirt or sweatshirt that graduated college with her, make it about the faults of the material. If you want to soften the blow, package the critique with a compliment so it doesn't sound like she's the unattractive piece of the puzzle. "I don't think that color works with your skin tone" or "That dress is making you look heavy in places that you're not" are at least softer ways of putting down her clothing choices.
如果你一定要说出对她外表的不满,最好是针对装扮,不要针对人。如果你不喜欢她从学生时就开始的那种穿某条裙子、某件衬衫或运动衫的样子,你可以都归咎于衣服的材质。如果你想减少对她的伤害,可以带着赞美来批评,这样就听起来不是在说她不够好了,“我觉着这个颜色不适合你的肤色”或者“这条裙子你穿上显胖”这些说法至少能更委婉地批评她的穿衣品味。
4. "You Should Meet My Family."
“你应该见见我家人。”
Meeting the family is a huge deal for women. It can often make or break a relationship and women view the moment as the next huge step in a relationship. It's a huge step and one that guys don't necessarily understand the importance of because we tend to do it more often than women. Men introduce a romantic partner to our families, not always because we feel it's time, but often because it gets them to stop asking about the woman we're dating.
见家人对女孩来说是大事,可以促成或毁掉你们的感情,女孩把这视为你们关系发展的下一重要阶段。这是一个大的跨步,男孩通常无法理解其重要性,因为在男孩看来这更司空见惯。男孩把恋人介绍给家人并不都是因为他们感觉是时候了,而经常是因为这样父母就不会再追问他们到底在和谁约会。
Instead Say: “Would you like to meet my family?”
相反你可以说:“你愿意见见我家人吗?”
She should meet your family. She should meet your family when you're ready. She should meet your family when she's ready. Just because you're ready doesn't mean she's ready. Proposing it as a question means you're ready for her to meet your family, but she has the option of saying yes or no based on her own feelings.
她应该见见你家人,你要准备好了,她也要准备好了。因为你准备好了不意味着她也准备好了。作为问题提出来意味着你准备好让她见你家人了,但她可以根据自己的感觉决定去还是不去。
5. "Do You Want To Come Back To My Place?"
“你想去我家吗?”
The night is wrapping up and the date is going incredibly well. You don't want to make assumptions, so you drop the question, offering to move the night back to your place. Of course you want her to go back to your place after a date, but phrasing the question in this manner makes it feel like sex is expected. There are ways to get her back to your place without being so blunt, and frankly, putting her on the spot.
一晚上约会进展得特别顺利,你不想独自假设,所以就抛出了这个问题,提出要去你家继续约会。当然你想让她约会之后跟你回家,但这样提问就给人感觉你想跟她发生关系。有很多方法都可以不这么直接地让她跟你回家,老实说,你可以不这样为难她。
Instead Say: "I just don't feel like the night should end here."
相反你可以说:“我就是不想这个晚上就这样结束了。”
This works for two reasons: There isn't a question that needs to be answered so, in case the answer is no, she doesn't have to come right out and reject the offer. The second reason it works is because it gives her the chance to make the suggestion. She might say, "Let's go back to your place," or even suggest her place. Either way, the choice is hers to make the offer without feeling pressured to answer in the moment.
这样说很管用有两个原因:有的问题不需要回答,除非答案是否定的,所以她不需要直接拒绝你;第二个原因就是给她机会给出建议。她可能会说:“去你家吧”,或者甚至建议去她家。无论怎样,选择权都在她手上,还不会让她感觉当时要被迫给出答案。
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