[1] 英文版

I'm no Li Bai, but when it comes to poetry I know what I like, and that's what I know. Some things are inalienably true: Water is wet, grass is green (kind of), dogs bark and houses prices rise.

The line yang wang xing kong ("look up at the starry sky") is one of my favorites. Why? Because it's true. Look at the sky. What do you see? That's right. Stars.

It's very important we all gaze at the skies and don't look around us. Look! Big apartment, high-earning job, KTV booked round the clock, two cars with different license plates and, of course, a hot wife (everyone wants a hot wife. Even my girlfriend, just for the marvelous face it gives).

If we all do this, we drive up national productivity and everybody's happy, except the peasants. But it's crucial to remember the other half. Not the peasants. The earth.

Reach for the Sky was a famous book by a wheelchair-bound pilot written after World War II. Today, we are asked to do a far more important thing: To reach for the ground.

Or, in another way, jiao ta shi di (roughly translated: get real). Keep your feet firmly on dry land. Life is likely going to be living in a dormitory, working for the man and looking at hot wives on the Internet.

It was, I believe, Oscar Wilde, or possibly George Bernard Shaw (or maybe even Noel Coward - it definitely wasn't Dorothy Parker) who said: "We are all of us in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars."

What exactly did he mean? And how can I use this to finagle a passing grade and ensure a high-flying career at a top 500 company, like Foxconn (they've had some openings recently), or failing that, a kindergarten security guard post? The answer is: I don't know. But I've just had a text to say someone will be emailing me the answers soon.

[2] 中文翻译版

我不是李白，但谈及诗，我知道我喜欢什么。有些事情是毫无争议的：就比如水是湿的，草是绿的，狗会汪汪叫，房价注定要涨。

诗句“仰望星空”是我的最爱。为什么?因为它是真实的。抬头仰望天空，你会看到什么?当然是星星。

我们都凝视天空，而不是环顾四周，这很重要。看!高大的公寓楼，高收入的工作，通宵达旦KTV，拥有两辆不同牌照的轿车，当然还有火辣的老婆(每个人都想要个火辣的老婆，甚至我的女朋友，因为她能给你面子)。

如果我们都这么做，我们国家的生产率就会提升，同时除了农民们，皆大欢喜。但记住诗的下半句也很重要。下半句不是农民，而是土地。战后一位身残的飞行员写了本非常著名的书《抵达天空》。今天，我们有更重要的事情去做，那就是把脚伸到地里去。

或者换种方式：脚踏实地(通俗的说法：变得现实)，在干燥的土地上保持坚定的步伐。生活将会这么过：住在宿舍里，为老板卖命，在网上寻找火辣的老婆。

我相信，奥斯卡•王尔德或者是萧伯纳(也可能是诺尔•寇威尔—但绝对不是萝西•帕克)说过：“我们都在贫民窟中，但我们中有一些人正仰望着星星。”

他说这话到底是什么意思?我如何才能巧妙的将它融入我的文章，确保我能进入施展我抱负的五百强公司之一，比如富士康(最近是个好时机)或者求其次，当上幼儿园保安等等?答案是：我不知道。但我刚收到短信，有人将立马发邮件给我，告诉我答案。