小学英语笑话:诵读课
I had a schoolmate who had come into school at an age later than usual,and could hardly read.There was a book used by the leaners in reading calledDialogues between a Missionary and an Indian.It was a poor performance,full of inconclusive arguments and other commonplaces.The boy in question used to appear with this book in his hand in the middle of the school,the master standing behind him.
The lesson was to begin.The poor fellow,whose great fault lay in a deep toned drawl of his syllable and the omission of his stops,stood half looking at the book,and half casting his eye towards the right of him, whence the blows were to proceed.The master looked over him,and his hand was ready.I am not exact in my quotation at this distance of time ;but the spirit of one of the passages that I recollect was to the following purport,and thus did the teacher and his pupil proceed:
Master.Now,young man,have a care ;or I'll set you a swingeing task.(A common phrase of his.)
Pupil(making a sort of heavy bolt at his calamity,and neverremembering his stop at the wordMissionary).Missionary Can you see the wind?
(Master gives him a aslap on thehcheek.)
Pupil(raising his voice to a cry,and still forgetting his stop).Indian No!
Master.Zounds,young man!have a care how you provoke me!
Pupil(always forgetting the stop).Missionary How then do you know that there is such a thing?
(Here a terrible thump.) Pupil(with a shout of agony). Indian Because I feel it.