Two Russian hunters meet. I shot a gigantic bear yesterday, says Ivan. Look at the hide!

How do you find such huge bears? Sergei asks.

Easy, says Ivan. You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out, you shoot.

Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages. Didn't you follow my advice? Ivan asks.

Sure I did. I stood, in front of a cave and whistled, Sergei replies.

And what came out?

To me, says Sergei, it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express.