Two Russian hunters meet. "I shot a gigantic bear yesterday," says Ivan. "Look at the hide!"

"How do you find such huge bears?" Sergei asks.

"Easy," says Ivan. "You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out, you shoot."

Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages. "Didn't you follow my advice?" Ivan asks.

"Sure I did. I stood, in front of a cave and whistled, " Sergei replies.

"And what came out?"

"To me, "says Sergei, "it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express."