音频下载[点击右键另存为][00:01.21]Passage 14. Self-Esteem

[00:05.69]Self-esteem is the combination of self-confidence and self-respect

[00:12.36]—the conviction that you are competent to cope with life’s challenges

[00:17.28]and are worthy of happiness.

[00:19.58]Self-esteem is the way you talk to yourself about yourself.

[00:23.85]Self-esteem has two interrelated aspects;

[00:27.79]it entails a sense of personal efficacy and a sense of personal worth.

[00:33.80]It is the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect.

[00:38.73]It is the conviction that one is competent to live and worthy of living.

[00:44.75]Our self-esteem and self-image are developed by how we talk to ourselves.

[00:50.66]All of us have conscious and unconscious memories of all the times we felt bad or wrong

[00:57.33]—they are part of the unavoidable scars of childhood.

[01:01.71]This is where the critical voice gets started.

[01:05.21]Everyone has a critical inner voice.

[01:08.05]People with low self-esteem simply have a more vicious and demeaning inner voice.

[01:13.96]Psychologists say that almost every aspect of our lives

[01:18.78]—our personal happiness, success, relationships with others, achievement, creativity, dependencies

[01:27.97]—are dependent on our level of self-esteem.

[01:31.03]The more we have, the better we deal with things.

[01:34.09]Positive self-esteem is important because when people experience it,

[01:39.35]they feel good and look good, they are effective and productive,

[01:44.05]and they respond to other people and themselves in healthy, positive, growing ways.

[01:50.51]People who have positive self-esteem know that they are lovable and capable,

[01:56.85]and they care about themselves and other people.

[02:00.03]They do not have to build themselves up by tearing other people down

[02:04.94]or by patronizing less competent people.

[02:08.66]Our background largely determines what we will become in personality

[02:14.03]and more importantly in self-esteem.

[02:16.87]Where do feelings of worthlessness come from?

[02:20.37]Many come from our families,

[02:22.78]since more than 80% of our waking hours up to the age of eighteen

[02:27.59]are spent under their direct influence.

[02:30.55]We are who we are because of where we’ve been.

[02:34.16]We build our own brands of self-esteem from four ingredients:

[02:38.86]fate, the positive things life offers, the negative things life offers

[02:45.54]and our own decisions about how to respond to fate, the positives and the negatives.

[02:52.11]Neither fate nor decisions can be determined by other people in our own life.

[02:58.34]No one can change fate.

[03:00.64]We can control our thinking and therefore our decisions in life.