英语散文:开门揖盗实为监守自盗
分类: 英语散文
Welcome to Our Bank 开门揖盗实为监守自盗
"I wish Central Bank would be robbed," George Pickens said to himself. He had been making this wish daily from the time he had started work as a teller at the bank. All over the country banks were being robbed, George thought. Why not this bank? Were robbers scornful of its four-million-dollar capital? Were they afraid of Mr. Ackerman, the old bank guard, who hadn't pulled out his gun in twenty-two years? Of course George had a reason for wanting the bank to be robbed. After all, he couldn't simply take the thick bundles of bills that were under his hands all day long. So he had thought of another way to get them. His plan was simple. It went like this:If Bank Robber A holds up Bank Teller B
And if Bank Teller B gives Bank Robber A a certain amount of money
What is to prevent Bank Teller B from keeping all the money left and claiming that it was stolen by Bank Robber A?
There was only one problem. Where was Bank Robber A? One morning George entered the bank feeling something was about to happen. "Good morning, Mr. Burrows." He said cheerfully. The bank president said something in a low voice and went into his office. At two o'clock Bank Robber A walked in. George knew he was a bank robber. For one thing, be slipped in. For another thing, be wore a mask. "This is a holdup," the man said roughly. He took a pistol from his pocket. The guard made a small sound. "You," the bank robber said, "lie down on the floor." Mr. Ackerman lay down. The robber stepped over to George's cage."All right," he said. "Hand it over.""Yes, sir," said George. "Would you like it in ten- or twenty-dollar bills?""Just hand it over!" George reached into his cashbox and took all the bills from the top section--close to six thousand dollars. He passed them through the window. The robber snatched them, put them into his pocket, and turned to leave. Then, while everyone watched Bank Robber A, Bank Teller B calmly lifted off the top section of the cashbox and slipped bills from the bottom section into his pockets. The door swung and the bank robber was gone. George fainted. When he woke he smiled up at the worried faces looking down at him. "I'm all right," he said bravely. “要是中央银行被抢了该多好，”乔治·皮肯斯自言自语道。自从在银行里开始担任出纳员之日起，他就每天都琢磨着要实现这个愿望。(2)乔治想，全国所有的银行都被抢过，为什么唯独这家银行没被抢呢？强盗们是看不上这400万元的资本吗？他们是害怕这家银行的老门卫阿克曼先生吗？他22年来从没有掏出过他的枪。(3）当然，乔治想要这家银行被抢是有个理由的。毕竟，他不能轻易地拿走整天价打他手头点过的成捆成捆的厚厚的钞票。因而他已想出了另一个弄到钱的办法。他的计划很简单。就像这样：
如果银行抢劫犯A以武力威胁银行的出纳员B……
而且如果银行出纳员B给银行抢劫犯A一笔相当可观的钱……
什么会阻止银行出纳员B留下剩下的那些钱而宣称都被银行抢劫犯A抢走了呢？
只有一个问题。银行抢劫犯A在哪里呢？(4)一天早晨，乔治走进银行，感到有什么事情将要发生。“早上好，伯罗斯先生。”他兴高采烈地说道。行长低声说了句什么就进了办公室。(5)下午两点钟，银行抢劫犯A进来了。乔治知道他是一个银行抢劫犯。因为，第一，他是溜进来的；第二，他戴了一个面具。〔6〕“这是一次持枪抢劫，”这人粗暴地说道。他从口袋里掏出一支手枪。门卫发出了一点小小的声音。“你，”银行抢劫犯说道，“躺到地上。”阿克曼先生躺了下去。抢劫犯跨步来到乔治有栅窗的工作间。 “好了，”他说。“把钱交出来。”“是的，先生。”乔治答道。“您愿意要10元一张的还是20元一张的？”“都交出来！”〔7)乔治把手伸进现金柜里，从上层格子中取出所有的钞票一将近6000元。他将钱由窗口递了出来。抢劫犯一把抓过钱，放入口袋，然后转身就走。(8)就在人们都注视着银行抢劫犯A时，银行出纳员B却悄悄地提起现金柜上层的格子，把柜子下层的钞票偷偷地塞入了他自己的口袋中。(9)门转了一下，银行抢劫犯走了。乔治晕了过去。他醒来时，仰望着那些焦急地瞅着他的人们笑了笑。“我没事，”他勇敢地表示道。
"I wish Central Bank would be robbed," George Pickens said to himself. He had been making this wish daily from the time he had started work as a teller at the bank. All over the country banks were being robbed, George thought. Why not this bank? Were robbers scornful of its four-million-dollar capital? Were they afraid of Mr. Ackerman, the old bank guard, who hadn't pulled out his gun in twenty-two years? Of course George had a reason for wanting the bank to be robbed. After all, he couldn't simply take the thick bundles of bills that were under his hands all day long. So he had thought of another way to get them. His plan was simple. It went like this:If Bank Robber A holds up Bank Teller B
And if Bank Teller B gives Bank Robber A a certain amount of money
What is to prevent Bank Teller B from keeping all the money left and claiming that it was stolen by Bank Robber A?
There was only one problem. Where was Bank Robber A? One morning George entered the bank feeling something was about to happen. "Good morning, Mr. Burrows." He said cheerfully. The bank president said something in a low voice and went into his office. At two o'clock Bank Robber A walked in. George knew he was a bank robber. For one thing, be slipped in. For another thing, be wore a mask. "This is a holdup," the man said roughly. He took a pistol from his pocket. The guard made a small sound. "You," the bank robber said, "lie down on the floor." Mr. Ackerman lay down. The robber stepped over to George's cage."All right," he said. "Hand it over.""Yes, sir," said George. "Would you like it in ten- or twenty-dollar bills?""Just hand it over!" George reached into his cashbox and took all the bills from the top section--close to six thousand dollars. He passed them through the window. The robber snatched them, put them into his pocket, and turned to leave. Then, while everyone watched Bank Robber A, Bank Teller B calmly lifted off the top section of the cashbox and slipped bills from the bottom section into his pockets. The door swung and the bank robber was gone. George fainted. When he woke he smiled up at the worried faces looking down at him. "I'm all right," he said bravely. “要是中央银行被抢了该多好，”乔治·皮肯斯自言自语道。自从在银行里开始担任出纳员之日起，他就每天都琢磨着要实现这个愿望。(2)乔治想，全国所有的银行都被抢过，为什么唯独这家银行没被抢呢？强盗们是看不上这400万元的资本吗？他们是害怕这家银行的老门卫阿克曼先生吗？他22年来从没有掏出过他的枪。(3）当然，乔治想要这家银行被抢是有个理由的。毕竟，他不能轻易地拿走整天价打他手头点过的成捆成捆的厚厚的钞票。因而他已想出了另一个弄到钱的办法。他的计划很简单。就像这样：
如果银行抢劫犯A以武力威胁银行的出纳员B……
而且如果银行出纳员B给银行抢劫犯A一笔相当可观的钱……
什么会阻止银行出纳员B留下剩下的那些钱而宣称都被银行抢劫犯A抢走了呢？
只有一个问题。银行抢劫犯A在哪里呢？(4)一天早晨，乔治走进银行，感到有什么事情将要发生。“早上好，伯罗斯先生。”他兴高采烈地说道。行长低声说了句什么就进了办公室。(5)下午两点钟，银行抢劫犯A进来了。乔治知道他是一个银行抢劫犯。因为，第一，他是溜进来的；第二，他戴了一个面具。〔6〕“这是一次持枪抢劫，”这人粗暴地说道。他从口袋里掏出一支手枪。门卫发出了一点小小的声音。“你，”银行抢劫犯说道，“躺到地上。”阿克曼先生躺了下去。抢劫犯跨步来到乔治有栅窗的工作间。 “好了，”他说。“把钱交出来。”“是的，先生。”乔治答道。“您愿意要10元一张的还是20元一张的？”“都交出来！”〔7)乔治把手伸进现金柜里，从上层格子中取出所有的钞票一将近6000元。他将钱由窗口递了出来。抢劫犯一把抓过钱，放入口袋，然后转身就走。(8)就在人们都注视着银行抢劫犯A时，银行出纳员B却悄悄地提起现金柜上层的格子，把柜子下层的钞票偷偷地塞入了他自己的口袋中。(9)门转了一下，银行抢劫犯走了。乔治晕了过去。他醒来时，仰望着那些焦急地瞅着他的人们笑了笑。“我没事，”他勇敢地表示道。