Oscar examined the pasta box. On the front, in large letters, was “Barilla Penne—Italy’s #1 Brand of Pasta.” On the side, in small print at the very bottom, was “Product of U.S.A.” Oscar shook his head; they tricked me again, he thought. He added two cups of pasta to the boiling water and set the timer. While the pasta was cooking, Oscar took a cucumber out of the fridge. He peeled it, sliced it, salted the slices, and ate them all while he read This Week, a popular weekly news magazine. Finished with the cucumber, he sliced a pear and ate it.

The timer went off. Oscar poured the hot water through a plastic strainer, and then put the pasta into a bowl. He added a heaping tablespoon of butter to the hot pasta and let it melt in. Then he poured the lemon juice onto the pasta. He chopped up part of a red onion and mixed it into the pasta. He drained a can of boneless herring fillets and stirred them into the pasta. He sprinkled garlic powder and grated parmesan cheese onto the pasta. He put a spoon into the bowl, sat down at his dining room table, and dug in.

When Oscar finished the pasta, he washed the dirty dishes and utensils. Then he poured cold nonfat milk into a large glass, sat down, and slowly ate half of a five-ounce bar of Hershey’s Special Dark candy. He washed it down with the milk. Now, that was worth waiting for, he thought.