Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food. -- AnonymousI have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people. -- Ed BluestoneI do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli. -- George Bush, U.S. president, 1990Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner. -- Lord ByronFood, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction. -- John CageI don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking. -- Katherine CebrianC is for cookie, it's good enough for me; oh cookie cookie cookie starts with C. -- Cookie Monster, character on "Sesame Street," U.S. children's television programI'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. -- Rodney DangerfieldThe second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. -- Jackie GleasonMy mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. -- Buddy HackettHe who does not mind his belly will hardly will hardly mind anything else. -- Samuel JohnsonResearchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are. -- Matt Lauer, on NBC's "Today" show, August 22, 1996I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?" -- Jay LenoTime flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. -- Groucho MarxNever eat more than you can lift. -- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television showThe west wasn't won on salad. -- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that M&Ms really do melt in your hand... -- Peter OakleyNo man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut. -- Channing PollackMost turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. -- Rita RudnerA good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness. -- Elsa SchiapirelliThere is no sincerer love than the love of food. -- George Bernard ShawHealth food makes me sick. -- Calvin TrillinThe most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -- Calvin TrillinOne cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. -- Virginia Woolf