All television is children's television. -- Richard P. AdlerImitation is the sincerest form of television. -- Fred AllenYou can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart. -- Fred AllenThe remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely. -- T. S. EliotIf it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. -- George GobelActing is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four. -- Katharine HepburnSeeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. -- Alfred HitchcockTelevision: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done. -- Ernie KovacsFine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. -- David LettermanIn a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating, stealing, getting rich, and whipping servants. But you have to shoot him in the end. -- Herman MankiewiczI find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. -- Groucho MarxWe in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho MarxLife is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it. -- Nick Mirov...And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was perhaps inevitable. -- Garry TrudeauI never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television. -- Gore Vidal