If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee. -- AnonymousUGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility. -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot. -- Elayne BooslerIf people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed. -- Beau BrummelPeople only see what they are prepared to see. -- Ralph Waldo EmersonAirplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. -- Al Gore, U.S. Vice PresidentTo the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation. -- Latin ProverbIf I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? -- Abraham LincolnA weed is no more than a flower in disguise. -- James LowellThere is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another to the world. -- Antonio MachadoThere is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. -- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to FreedomIn every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. -- Christopher MorleyThe weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. -- P. J. O'RourkeYou'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. -- Dolly PartonI base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch. -- Gilda RadnerLess and grayer hair. -- Cal Ripkin Jr., baseball player, describing how he has changed over the course of his consecutive games recordOf the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the custom of shaving. -- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and AllBeauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said. -- George SantayanaWhy doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and shorts for the last four years? -- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television showA beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you. -- Adlai StevensonLike a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter. -- N. D. SticeAll that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost; -- J.R.R. TolkeinNot much meat on her, but what's there is choice. -- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine HepburnI often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day. -- Vincent Van GoghOne may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way. -- Vincent Van GoghA narcissist is someone better-looking than you are. -- Gore VidalEven overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses. -- John Weitz, American DesignerIt is better to be looked over than overlooked. -- Mae WestFashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. -- Oscar WildeGuys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for your face. -- Anita Wise