WHILE a Division Superintendent of a railway was attending closely
to his business of placing obstructions on the track and tampering
with the switches he received word that the President of the road
was about to discharge him for incompetency.

  "Good Heavens!" he cried; "there are more accidents on my division
than on all the rest of the line."

  "The President is very particular," said the Man who brought him
the news; "he thinks the same loss of life might be effected with
less damage to the company's property."

  "Does he expect me to shoot passengers through the car windows?"
exclaimed the indignant official, spiking a loose tie across the
rails.  "Does he take me for an assassin?"