Book says Audrey Hepburn always sad

From Princess Anne in "Roman Holiday" to Eliza Doolittle in "My Fair Lady," Audrey Hepburn seemed the epitome of inner calm and self-reliance.

But to her son, she was a woman beset with sadness and self-doubt.

"She remembered vividly the fear she felt as a child when the German troops invaded the city of Arnhem, in the Netherlands, where she spent most of the war," writes Sean Hepburn Ferrer in his new book, "Audrey Hepburn, an Elegant Spirit."

"She also told us about how her brothers ate dog biscuits when there was nothing else to eat .... how the bread was green because the only flour available was made from peas. She spent the whole day in bed reading so as not to feel the hunger."

Hepburn also suffered the loss of her father - not from the war, but by desertion. He left the family when war was declared, and she didn't see him until 20 years later, when she was an international movie star.

Sean Ferrer, the only son of Audrey Hepburn and Mel Ferrer, was interviewed at the offices of the Audrey Hepburn Children's Fund in a venerable building a mile from the Pacific Ocean in Santa Monica.

The fund is virtually a one-man operation that stages exhibits and events to benefit UNICEF, to which Hepburn devoted her final years. Her son's proceeds from the book go to the fund.

About his mother's sadness, Ferrer commented: "I believe that you can't know courage without conquering fear, and you can't really know joy without knowing sadness."

He explained the "screenplay" that was his mother's life was divided into three acts: 1. pursuing a highly successful film career; 2. raising her two sons (she has a son from her marriage to Italian psychiatrist Andrea Dotti); 3. devoting herself to UNICEF after the sons became adults.

"I think that emotional marks are made early on," Ferrer said. "Even if you can rationalize them as you grow up, they still leave that dank sadness you can never truly shake.

"That's why she believed that one of the priorities in our society should be to address the children who are in need. Not just for a cup of soup or another vitamin, but to see what war does to children and protect them as much emotionally as we should physically."

Sean Ferrer is a tall, husky 43-year-old whose dark hair bears the beginnings of gray. His own professional life is divided among conducting the work of the Audrey Hepburn Children's Fund, managing his mother's legacy and pursuing his own career in films.

Having grown up in the movie world, Ferrer entered the field not as an actor but in production. His efforts to produce his own movies have been unsuccessful, mainly, he said, because he refuses to appeal to commercial mediocrity.

Ferrer had just returned from a book signing tour that took him to New York, Boston and Chicago. Like his parents, he had to answer the same questions over and over again - such as, Why write the book now, a decade after his mother's death?

"I didn't write the book now," he explained. "I started thinking about it shortly after my mother passed away. I didn't know if it was going to be a book, but I wanted to sit down and write about this time in my life for my children."

(Agencies)

从《罗马假日》中的安妮公主，到《窈窕淑女》里的伊莉莎·杜利特尔，奥黛丽·赫本几乎成了内心平和与坚毅的化身。

但是，在儿子眼中，赫本却一直被忧伤和自我怀疑所困扰。

奥黛丽·赫本之子肖恩·赫本·费勒最近出版了一本名位《奥黛丽·赫本——优雅女神》的新书，在书中他写到：“她真切地记得，当德国军队入侵荷兰阿纳姆时，年幼的她是多么恐惧。她在荷兰经历了许多战争。”

“她还告诉我们，在没有其他任何食物的情况下，她的兄弟如何去吃狗食。……面包都是绿色的，因为能够得到的面粉都是用豌豆磨成的。为了不感到饥饿，她整天都躺在床上看书。”

赫本的创伤并非全部来自战争，父亲的出走让她遭受了被遗弃之苦。战争打响的时候，父亲离家出走。直到二十年后，赫本才又一次见到了久违的父亲，那时她已成为一位国际影星。

肖恩·费勒是奥黛丽·赫本与梅尔·费勒的独子，他在奥黛丽·赫本儿童基金会的办公室里接受了采访。奥黛丽·赫本儿童基金会坐落于圣塔莫尼卡市一座庄严肃穆的建筑中，一英里外就是烟波浩淼的太平洋。

事实上目前只有费勒一人来打理基金会的日常事务，基金会通过举行展览会和其他活动来援助联合国儿童基金会。奥黛丽·赫本晚年曾致力于这方面的工作。费勒此次出书的全部收益将归奥黛丽·赫本儿童基金会所有。

谈到母亲的苦难经历时，费勒说：“我想没有战胜过恐惧的人就不知道什么是勇气，而没有经历过痛苦的人就不懂得什么是快乐。”

他解释说，他母亲的人生“剧本”可以分三幕：第一幕：追求电影事业的高度成功；第二幕：养育两个儿子（她曾与意大利的精神病专家安德烈·多迪结婚，生有一子）；第三幕：儿子们长大成人后，她致力于联合国儿童基金会的工作。

费勒说：“我想很小的时候感情上受到了伤害，即使长大后你可以抚平伤口，刺骨的伤痛却早已留下，那是你永远都无法抹去的。”

“这就是为什么她认为，社会的首要任务之一就是去关心那些需要帮助的孩子。仅仅是一杯热汤或一种维生素是不够的，我们应该关注战争对孩子们的影响，保护他们生理和心理都不受到伤害。”

现年43岁的肖恩·费勒身材魁梧，黑色的头发中隐约显现出些许银丝。肖恩一人身兼多职，除打理基金会日常事务、管理母亲留下的遗产外，他在影视圈还有自己的事业。

在影视圈中长大的费勒选择了电影制作而不是演戏。他努力想要制作一部自己的电影，但尚未成功，他说主要是因为他不想求那些商业庸才们帮忙。

费勒才从纽约、波士顿、芝加哥签名售书回来。就像他的父母一样，他不得不一遍遍的回答同样的问题——例如：为什么在母亲过世10年后才写这本书？

费勒解释说：“我并不是现在才写这本书，在母亲去世后不久我就有了这样的念头。尽管当时我还不知道能不能写成一本书，但我确实想坐下来，为了我的子女，记录下我生命中的这段时光。”

UNICEF：联合国儿童基金会 (United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund)
Early on：在早期