Chapter 21

THE LURE OF THE SPIRIT: THE FLESH IN PURSUIT

When Carrie came Hurstwood had been waiting many minutes. His blood was warm; his nerves wrought up. He was anxious to see the woman who had stirred him so profoundly the night before.

"Here you are," he said, repressedly, feeling a spring in his limbs and an elation which was tragic in itself.

"Yes," said Carrie.

They walked on as if bound for some objective point, while Hurstwood drank in the radiance of her presence. The rustle of her pretty skirt was like music to him.

"Are you satisfied?" he asked, thinking of how well she did the night before.

"Are you?"

He tightened his fingers as he saw the smile she gave him.

"It was wonderful."

Carrie laughed ecstatically.

"That was one of the best things I've seen in a long time," he added.

He was dwelling on her attractiveness as he had felt it the evening before, and mingling it with the feeling her presence inspired now.

Carrie was dwelling in the atmosphere which this man created for her. Already she was enlivened and suffused with a glow. She felt his drawing toward her in every sound of his voice.

"Those were such nice flowers you sent me," she said, after a moment or two. "They were beautiful."

"Glad you liked them," he answered, simply.

He was thinking all the time that the subject of his desire was being delayed. He was anxious to turn the talk to his own feelings. All was ripe for it. His Carrie was beside him. He wanted to plunge in and expostulate with her, and yet he found himself fishing for words and feeling for a way.

"You got home all right," he said, gloomily, of a sudden, his tone modifying itself to one of self-commiseration.

"Yes," said Carrie, easily.

He looked at her steadily for a moment, slowing his pace and fixing her with his eye.

She felt the flood of feeling.

"How about me?" he asked.

This confused Carrie considerably, for she realised the floodgates were open. She didn't know exactly what to answer.

"I don't know," she answered.

He took his lower lip between his teeth for a moment, and then let it go. He stopped by the walk side and kicked the grass with his toe. He searched her face with a tender, appealing glance.

"Won't you come away from him?" he asked, intensely.

"I don't know," returned Carrie, still illogically drifting and finding nothing at which to catch.

As a matter of fact, she was in a most hopeless quandary. Here was a man whom she thoroughly liked, who exercised an influence over her, sufficient almost to delude her into the belief that she was possessed of a lively passion for him. She was still the victim of his keen eyes, his suave manners, his fine clothes. She looked and saw before her a man who was most gracious and sympathetic, who leaned toward her with a feeling that was a delight to observe. She could not resist the glow of his temperament, the light of his eye. She could hardly keep from feeling what he felt.

And yet she was not without thoughts which were disturbing. What did he know? What had Drouet told him? Was she a wife in his eyes, or what? Would he marry her? Even while he talked, and she softened, and her eyes were lighted with a tender glow, she was asking herself if Drouet had told him they were not married. There was never anything at all convincing about what Drouet said.

And yet she was not grieved at Hurstwood's love. No strain of bitterness was in it for her, whatever he knew. He was evidently sincere. His passion was real and warm. There was power in what he said. What should she do? She went on thinking this, answering vaguely, languishing affectionately, and altogether drifting, until she was on a borderless sea of speculation.

"Why don't you come away?" he said, tenderly. "I will arrange for you whatever-"

"Oh, don't," said Carrie.

"Don't what?" he asked. "What do you mean?"

There was a look of confusion and pain in her face. She was wondering why that miserable thought must be brought in. She was struck as by a blade with the miserable provision which was outside the pale of marriage.

He himself realised that it was a wretched thing to have dragged in. He wanted to weigh the effects of it, and yet he could not see. He went beating on, flushed by her presence, clearly awakened, intensely enlisted in his plan.

"Won't you come?" he said, beginning over and with a more reverent feeling. "You know I can't do without you -- you know it -- it can't go on this way -- can it?"

"I know," said Carrie.

"I wouldn't ask if I -- I wouldn't argue with you if I could help it. Look at me, Carrie. Put yourself in my place. You don't want to stay away from me, do you?"

She shook her head as if in deep thought.

"Then why not settle the whole thing, once and for all?"

"I don't know," said Carrie.

"Don't know! Ah, Carrie, what makes you say that? Don't torment me. Be serious."

"I am," said Carrie, softly.

"You can't be, dearest, and say that. Not when you know how I love you. Look at last night."

His manner as he said this was the most quiet imaginable. His face and body retained utter composure. Only his eyes moved, and they flashed a subtle, dissolving fire. In them the whole intensity of the man's nature was distilling itself.

Carrie made no answer.

"How can you act this way, dearest?" he inquired, after a time. "You love me, don't you?"

He turned on her such a storm of feeling that she was overwhelmed. For the moment all doubts were cleared away.

"Yes," she answered, frankly and tenderly.

"Well, then you'll come, won't you -- come to-night?"

Carrie shook her head in spite of her distress.

"I can't wait any longer," urged Hurstwood. "If that is too soon, come Saturday."

"When will we be married?" she asked, diffidently, forgetting in her difficult situation that she had hoped he took her to be Drouet's wife.

The manager started, hit as he was by a problem which was more difficult than hers. He gave no sign of the thoughts that flashed like messages to his mind.

"Any time you say," he said, with ease, refusing to discolour his present delight with this miserable problem.

"Saturday?" asked Carrie.

He nodded his head.

"Well, if you will marry me then," she said, "I'll go."

The manager looked at his lovely prize, so beautiful, so winsome, so difficult to be won, and made strange resolutions. His passion had gotten to that stage now where it was no longer coloured with reason. He did not trouble over little barriers of this sort in the face of so much loveliness. He would accept the situation with all its difficulties; he would not try to answer the objections which cold truth thrust upon him. He would promise anything, everything, and trust to fortune to disentangle him. He would make a try for Paradise, whatever might be the result. He would be happy, by the Lord, if it cost all honesty of statement, all abandonment of truth.

Carrie looked at him tenderly. She could have laid her head upon his shoulder, so delightful did it all seem.

"Well," she said, "I'll try and get ready then."

Hurstwood looked into her pretty face, crossed with little shadows of wonder and misgiving, and thought he had never seen anything more lovely.

"I'll see you again to-morrow," he said, joyously, "and we'll talk over the plans."

He walked on with her, elated beyond words, so delightful had been the result. He impressed a long story of joy and affection upon her, though there was but here and there a word. After a half-hour he began to realise that the meeting must come to an end, so exacting is the world.

"To-morrow," he said at parting, a gayety of manner adding wonderfully to his brave demeanour.

"Yes," said Carrie, tripping elatedly away.

There had been so much enthusiasm engendered that she was believing herself deeply in love. She sighed as she thought of her handsome adorer. Yes, she would get ready by Saturday. She would go, and they would be happy.

第二十一章

美的诱惑：肉在追求

嘉莉到达的时候，赫斯渥已经等了好几分钟了。他的热血在沸腾，情绪激动，迫不及待地要见到前一晚深深打动了他的这个女人。

“你终于来了，”他克制住自己的激动说道，觉得浑身轻快有力，兴奋异常。这种兴奋本身就是一种悲剧。

“是啊，”嘉莉说。

他们一起往前走，好像要到什么地方去似的。赫斯渥走在她的身旁，陶醉在她的光采夺目的美色中。她的漂亮的裙子发出沙沙声，在他听来像音乐那样美妙。

“你满足吗？”想到她前晚的杰出表演，他问道。

“你呢？”

看到她的笑脸，他更紧地握住了她的手。

“妙极了。”

嘉莉开心地笑了。

“这是很长时间来我看到的最佳表演，”他又补充说。

像昨晚一样，他细细品味着她的可爱之处。这品味融入了他们的幽会激起的情感。

嘉莉沉浸在这男人所创造的气氛中，变得活泼愉快，神采飞扬。在他的每句话里，她都体会到他对她的倾慕。

“你送我的那些花太可爱了，”停了一会儿，她说，“都很美。”“你喜欢我就高兴了，”他简单地回答。

这期间他一直在想，他现在这样是在推迟实现自己的欲望。他急于要把谈话引到他的情感上去。现在时机已经成熟了，他的嘉莉正走在他身旁。他想直截了当地劝嘉莉离开杜洛埃，但是不知道该如何措辞，还在思索怎么开口的问题。

“你昨晚回家还好吧，”他闷闷不乐地说，他的语气突然变得自叹自怜了。

“是啊，”嘉莉轻松地说。

他定定地看了她一会儿，放慢了脚步，凝视着她。

她感到泛滥的情感向她袭来。

“你想过我怎么样吗？”他问。

这使嘉莉大为窘迫，因为她意识到感情的闸门打开了，她却不知道该怎么回答。

“我不知道，”她答道。

他的牙齿咬住了了嘴唇，过了一会儿才松开。他在路边停了下来，用脚尖踢着地上的草，然后他用温柔恳求的目光久久探索着她的脸。

“你不愿意离开他吗？”他热烈地问道。

“我不知道，”嘉莉回答。她思绪仍然很乱，游移不定，不知如何是好。

事实上，她正陷入进退两难的困境。眼前这男人是她非常喜欢的。他对她的影响之大，足以使她误以为自己对他一往情深。他的敏锐的目光，温文尔雅的举止和考究精美的衣服仍然让她昏头。她觉得眼前这个男人非常和蔼可亲，富于同情心，对她非常倾心，这份情意令人欣喜。她无法抗拒他的气质和他的明亮的眼睛。她几乎无法不产生和他同样的感觉。

但是她还有令人不安的担心。关于她，他知道些什么？杜洛埃和他说了些什么？在他眼里，她是别人的妻子呢，还是别的什么？他会娶她吗？他的话使她心软，她的眼睛不觉露出温情脉脉的光辉。但是在他说话的时候，她心里一直在想，杜洛埃是不是已经告诉他，他们并没有结婚。杜洛埃的话总是让人不敢相信。

不过她并不为赫斯渥的爱情感到担心。不管他知道些什么，他对她的爱没有一点勉强或苦涩。他显然是诚挚的，他的爱真切而热烈，他的话让人信服。她该怎么办呢？她继续这么想着，含糊地回答着，情意绵绵地痛苦着，总的来说她在犹豫不决，陷入了无边无际的臆测之海。

“你何不离开他呢？”他温柔地说。“我会为你安排一切的。”“哦，不要，”嘉莉说。

“不要什么？”他问。“你是什么意思？”

她的脸上露出狼狈和痛苦的表情。她想，为什么要提出这个令人难堪的话题。这种婚姻以外靠男人赡养的可悲生活像刀一样刺痛了她的心。

他自己也意识到这个话题令人难受。他想估量一下这话的效果，但是估量不出。他继续试探着往下说，和她在一起他感到心情振奋，头脑清醒，一心一意想着实现自己的计划。

“你不愿意来吗？”他带着更虔诚的感情又重复了一遍。

“你知道我离不开你--你知道的--这样下去不行--是不是？”“我知道，”嘉莉说。

“如果我能忍下去的话，我不会求你的。不会和你争论的。

看着我，嘉莉。设身处地为我想想。你也不愿意和我分离，是不是？”她摇了摇头，好像陷入了深思。

“那么为什么不把这件事一劳永逸地解决了呢？”“我不知道，”嘉莉说。

“不知道！啊，嘉莉，你为什么这么说呢？别折磨我了。你认真一点吧。”“我是很认真，”嘉莉轻轻地说。

“最最亲爱的，你如果认真的话，就不会说这种话了。你要是知道我有多爱你，你就不会这么说了。你想想昨晚的事吧。”他这么说的时候，神态说不出有多宁静。他的脸和身子一动也不动，只有他的眼睛在传情，发出微妙的，令人销魂的火焰。在这目光中他凝聚了他天性中的全部激情。

嘉莉没有回答。

“你怎么能这样对我呢，宝贝？”他问道。又过了一会儿，他又说：“你是爱我的，是吗？”他的感情像狂风暴雨向她袭来，她完全被征服了。一时间所有的疑虑都烟消云散。

“是的，”她回答道，语气是那么坦城和温柔。

“那么你会到我身边来的，是不是？今晚就来，好吗？”嘉莉尽管难过，还是摇了摇头。

“我再也不能等下去了，”赫斯渥催促说，“如果今晚太仓促，那么星期六来吧。”“我们什么时候结婚呢？”她犹犹豫豫地问。在这为难的情势下，她忘了自己原来是希望他把她当作杜洛埃太太的。

经理吃了一惊，被这问题击中了，因为这问题比她的问题还要辣手。不过尽管这些思想像电讯一样在他脑中闪过，他脸上一点声色也没露。

“你愿意什么时候就什么时候，”他从容地回答，不愿意让这个倒霉的问题影响他眼下的欢乐情绪。

“星期六怎么样？”嘉莉问。

他点了点头。

“好吧，如果你到时候愿意娶我，”她说，“我就出走。”经理看着他可爱的情人，那么美丽，那么迷人，又那么难以到手，他就下了荒唐的决心。他的欲火已经到了不再受理智左右的地步。面对着如此美色，他已经顾不得这一类的小小障碍。不管有多少困难，他也不会退却。他不打算去回答冷酷的事实摆在他面前的难题。他什么都答应，一切的一切他都答应。让命运去解决这些难题吧。他要千方百计进入爱的乐园，不管前面有什么结果等着他。天哪，他一定要得到幸福，哪怕需要他说谎，哪怕要他不顾事实。

嘉莉温柔地看着他，真想把自己的头靠在他的肩膀上：一切看来是那么令人欣喜。

“好的，”她说，“我会想办法到时候准备好的。”赫斯渥看着她的美丽的脸庞，那上面浮现着一丝惊异和担心。他觉得他从来没有见过比这更可爱的东西了。

“我们明天再见面，”他快乐地说，“到时候我们再商量具体细节。”他继续和她往前走着。这么令人高兴的结果让他兴奋得难以形容。尽管他偶然才说上片言只语，他让她感到了他的无限快乐和对她的无限情意。半小时后，他意识到他该结束他们的幽会了：这世界是如此严厉，不肯通融。

“明天见，”分手时他说道。他的欢乐的情绪使他一往无前的气概更加潇洒。

“好。”嘉莉说着欢快轻盈地走了。

这次会面激起了强烈的热情，因此她自以为她是在恋爱了。想到她的英俊的情人，她心满意足地叹息了一声。是的，她星期六会准备好的。她要出走，他们会幸福的。