CHAPTER XXXIX 

Could Sir Thomas have seen all his niece's feelings, when she wrote her first letter to her aunt, he would not have despaired; for though a good night's rest, a pleasant morning, the hope of soon seeing William again, and the comparatively quiet state of the house, from Tom and Charles being gone to school, Sam on some project of his own, and her father on his usual lounges, enabled her to express herself cheerfully on the subject of home, there were still, to her own perfect consciousness, many drawbacks suppressed. Could he have seen only half that she felt before the end of a week, he would have thought Mr. Crawford sure of her, and been delighted with his own sagacity. 

Before the week ended, it was all disappointment. In the first place, William was gone. The Thrush had had her orders, the wind had changed, and he was sailed within four days from their reaching Portsmouth; and during those days she had seen him only twice, in a short and hurried way, when he had come ashore on duty. There had been no free conversation, no walk on the ramparts, no visit to the dockyard, no acquaintance with the Thrush, nothing of all that they had planned and depended on. Everything in that quarter failed her, except William's affection. His last thought on leaving home was for her. He stepped back again to the door to say, "Take care of Fanny, mother. She is tender, and not used to rough it like the rest of us. I charge you, take care of Fanny." 

William was gone: and the home he had left her in was, Fanny could not conceal it from herself, in almost every respect the very reverse of what she could have wished. It was the abode of noise, disorder, and impropriety. Nobody was in their right place, nothing was done as it ought to be. She could not respect her parents as she had hoped. On her father, her confidence had not been sanguine, but he was more negligent of his family, his habits were worse, and his manners coarser, than she had been prepared for. He did not want abilities but he had no curiosity, and no information beyond his profession; he read only the newspaper and the navy-list; he talked only of the dockyard, the harbour, Spithead, and the Motherbank; he swore and he drank, he was dirty and gross. She had never been able to recall anything approaching to tenderness in his former treatment of herself. There had remained only a general impression of roughness and loudness; and now he scarcely ever noticed her, but to make her the object of a coarse joke. 

Her disappointment in her mother was greater: _there_ she had hoped much, and found almost nothing. Every flattering scheme of being of consequence to her soon fell to the ground. Mrs. Price was not unkind; but, instead of gaining on her affection and confidence, and becoming more and more dear, her daughter never met with greater kindness from her than on the first day of her arrival. The instinct of nature was soon satisfied, and Mrs. Price's attachment had no other source. Her heart and her time were already quite full; she had neither leisure nor affection to bestow on Fanny. Her daughters never had been much to her. She was fond of her sons, especially of William, but Betsey was the first of her girls whom she had ever much regarded. To her she was most injudiciously indulgent. William was her pride; Betsey her darling; and John, Richard, Sam, Tom, and Charles occupied all the rest of her maternal solicitude, alternately her worries and her comforts. These shared her heart: her time was given chiefly to her house and her servants. Her days were spent in a kind of slow bustle; all was busy without getting on, always behindhand and lamenting it, without altering her ways; wishing to be an economist, without contrivance or regularity; dissatisfied with her servants, without skill to make them better, and whether helping, or reprimanding, or indulging them, without any power of engaging their respect. 

Of her two sisters, Mrs. Price very much more resembled Lady Bertram than Mrs. Norris. She was a manager by necessity, without any of Mrs. Norris's inclination for it, or any of her activity. Her disposition was naturally easy and indolent, like Lady Bertram's; and a situation of similar affluence and do-nothingness would have been much more suited to her capacity than the exertions and self-denials of the one which her imprudent marriage had placed her in. She might have made just as good a woman of consequence as Lady Bertram, but Mrs. Norris would have been a more respectable mother of nine children on a small income. 

Much of all this Fanny could not but be sensible of. She might scruple to make use of the words, but she must and did feel that her mother was a partial, ill-judging parent, a dawdle, a slattern, who neither taught nor restrained her children, whose house was the scene of mismanagement and discomfort from beginning to end, and who had no talent, no conversation, no affection towards herself; no curiosity to know her better, no desire of her friendship, and no inclination for her company that could lessen her sense of such feelings. 

Fanny was very anxious to be useful, and not to appear above her home, or in any way disqualified or disinclined, by her foreign education, from contributing her help to its comforts, and therefore set about working for Sam immediately; and by working early and late, with perseverance and great despatch, did so much that the boy was shipped off at last, with more than half his linen ready. She had great pleasure in feeling her usefulness, but could not conceive how they would have managed without her. 

Sam, loud and overbearing as he was, she rather regretted when he went, for he was clever and intelligent, and glad to be employed in any errand in the town; and though spurning the remonstrances of Susan, given as they were, though very reasonable in themselves, with ill-timed and powerless warmth, was beginning to be influenced by Fanny's services and gentle persuasions; and she found that the best of the three younger ones was gone in him: Tom and Charles being at least as many years as they were his juniors distant from that age of feeling and reason, which might suggest the expediency of making friends, and of endeavouring to be less disagreeable. Their sister soon despaired of making the smallest impression on _them_; they were quite untameable by any means of address which she had spirits or time to attempt. Every afternoon brought a return of their riotous games all over the house; and she very early learned to sigh at the approach of Saturday's constant half-holiday. 

Betsey, too, a spoiled child, trained up to think the alphabet her greatest enemy, left to be with the servants at her pleasure, and then encouraged to report any evil of them, she was almost as ready to despair of being able to love or assist; and of Susan's temper she had many doubts. Her continual disagreements with her mother, her rash squabbles with Tom and Charles, and petulance with Betsey, were at least so distressing to Fanny that, though admitting they were by no means without provocation, she feared the disposition that could push them to such length must be far from amiable, and from affording any repose to herself. 

Such was the home which was to put Mansfield out of her head, and teach her to think of her cousin Edmund with moderated feelings. On the contrary, she could think of nothing but Mansfield, its beloved inmates, its happy ways. Everything where she now was in full contrast to it. The elegance, propriety, regularity, harmony, and perhaps, above all, the peace and tranquillity of Mansfield, were brought to her remembrance every hour of the day, by the prevalence of everything opposite to them _here_. 

The living in incessant noise was, to a frame and temper delicate and nervous like Fanny's, an evil which no superadded elegance or harmony could have entirely atoned for. It was the greatest misery of all. At Mansfield, no sounds of contention, no raised voice, no abrupt bursts, no tread of violence, was ever heard; all proceeded in a regular course of cheerful orderliness; everybody had their due importance; everybody's feelings were consulted. If tenderness could be ever supposed wanting, good sense and good breeding supplied its place; and as to the little irritations sometimes introduced by aunt Norris, they were short, they were trifling, they were as a drop of water to the ocean, compared with the ceaseless tumult of her present abode. Here everybody was noisy, every voice was loud (excepting, perhaps, her mother's, which resembled the soft monotony of Lady Bertram's, only worn into fretfulness). Whatever was wanted was hallooed for, and the servants hallooed out their excuses from the kitchen. The doors were in constant banging, the stairs were never at rest, nothing was done without a clatter, nobody sat still, and nobody could command attention when they spoke. 

In a review of the two houses, as they appeared to her before the end of a week, Fanny was tempted to apply to them Dr. Johnson's celebrated judgment as to matrimony and celibacy, and say, that though Mansfield Park might have some pains, Portsmouth could have no pleasures.

第三卷 第八章

托马斯爵士若能知道外甥女给姨妈写第一封信时的心情，也就不会感到绝望了。范妮好好睡了一夜，早晨觉得挺愉快的，还可望很快再见到威廉，加上汤姆和查尔斯都上学去了，萨姆在忙自己的什么事，父亲像往常那样到处闲逛，因而家里处于比较平静的状态，她也就能用明快的言词来描绘她的家庭，然而她心里十分清楚，还有许多令她不快的事情，她不想让他们知道。她回家住了不到一个星期便产生的想法，做姨父的若能知道一半，就会认为克劳福德先生定会把她弄到手，就会为自己的英明决策而沾沾自喜。

还不到一个星期，她就大为失望了。首先是威廉走了。“画眉”号接到了命令，风向也变了，来到朴次茅斯后的第四天，他便跟着出海了。在这几天里，她只见到哥哥两次，而且他上岸来公务在身，刚刚见面，便匆匆别去。他们没能畅快地谈谈心，没能到大堤上散散步，没能到海军船坞去参观，没能去看看“画眉”号——总之，原来所计划、所期盼的事一样都没实现。除了威廉对她的情意之外，其他的一切都让她失望。他离家的时候，临走想到的还是她。他又回到门口说：“照顾好范妮，妈妈。她比较脆弱，不像我们那样过惯了艰苦的生活。拜托你了，把范妮照顾好。”

威廉走了。他离开后的这个家——范妮不得不承认——几乎在各方面都与她希望的正相反。这是一个吵吵闹闹、乱七八糟、没有规矩的人家。没有一个人是安分守己的，没有一件事做得妥当的。她无法像她希望的那样敬重父母。她对父亲本来就没抱多大希望，但是他比她想象的还要对家庭不负责任，他的习性比她想象的还要坏，他的言谈举止比她想象的还要粗俗。他并不是没有才干，但是除了他那个行当以外，他对什么都不感兴趣，对什么都不知道。他只看报纸和海军军官花名册。他只爱谈论海军船坞、海港、斯皮特黑德和母亲滩①（译注：①母亲滩(Motherbank)：位于英格兰南部怀特岛东北沿岸的海滩，系英国当年与东印度群岛进行贸易的大货船的泊地。）。他爱骂人，好喝酒，又脏又粗野。她想不起来他过去曾对自己有过一点温情。她对他只有一个总的印象：粗里粗气，说话很野。现在他对她几乎不屑一顾，只是拿她开个粗俗的玩笑。

她对母亲更加失望。她原来对她寄予很大的希望，但却几乎完全失望了。她对母亲的种种美好的期望很快便彻底落空了。普莱斯太太并非心狠——但是，她对女儿不是越来越好，越来越知心，越来越亲切，范妮再没有遇到她对她像刚来的那天晚上那样客气。自然的本能已经得到了满足，普莱斯太太的情感再也没有其他来源。她的心、她的时间早已填满了，既没有闲暇又没有情感用到范妮身上。她从来就不怎么看重她的那些女儿。她喜爱的是她的儿子们，特别是威廉。不过，贝齐算是第一个受到她疼爱的女儿。她对她娇惯到极不理智的地步。威廉是她的骄傲，贝齐是她的心肝，约翰、理查德、萨姆、汤姆和查尔斯分享了她余下的母爱，时而为他们担忧，时而为他们高兴。这些事分摊了她的心，她的时间主要用到了她的家和仆人身上。她的日子都是在慢吞吞的忙乱中度过的，总是忙而不见成效，总是拖拖拉拉不断埋怨，却又不肯改弦更张；心里倒想做个会过日子的人，却又不会算计，没个条理；对仆人不满意，却又没有本事改变他们，对他们不管是帮助，还是责备，还是放任自流，都得不到他们的尊敬。

和两个姐姐相比，普莱斯太太并不怎么像诺里斯太太，而更像伯特伦夫人。她管理家务是出于不得已，既不像诺里斯太太那样喜欢管，也不像她那样勤快。她的性情倒像伯特伦夫人，天生懒懒散散。她那不慎的婚姻给她带来了这种终日操劳、自我克制的生活，她若是能像伯特伦夫人那样家境富足，那样无所事事，那对她的能力来说要合适得多。她可以做一个像伯特伦夫人一样体面的有身份的女人，而诺里斯太太却可以凭着微薄的收入做一个体面的九个孩子的母亲。

这一切范妮自然能意识得到。她可以出于慎重不说出来，但她必然而且的确觉得母亲是个偏心眼、不辨是非的母亲，是个懒散邋遢的女人，对孩子既不教育，又不约束，她的家里里外外都是一片管理不善的景象，令人望而生厌；她没有才干，笨嘴拙舌，对自己也没有感情；她不想更多地了解她，不稀罕她的友情，无心让她陪伴，不然的话，她的重重心事也许会减轻一些。

范妮很想做点事情，不愿意让人觉得自己比一家人优越，觉得自己由于在外边受过教育，就不适合或不乐意帮助做点家务事。因此，她立即动手给萨姆做起活来。她起早贪黑，坚持不懈，飞针走线地赶着，等萨姆最后登船远航的时候，他所需要的大部分内衣都做好了。她为自己能给家里帮点忙而感到异常高兴，同时又无法想象家里没有了她怎么能行。

萨姆尽管嗓门大，盛气凌人，但他走的时候，她还真有些舍不得，因为他聪明伶俐，有什么差事派他进城他都乐意去。苏珊给他提什么意见，虽然意见本身都很合理，但是由于提得不是时候，态度不够诚恳，他连听都不要听。然而，范妮对他的帮助和循循善诱，开始对他产生了影响。范妮发现，他这一走，走掉了三个小弟弟中最好的一个。汤姆和查尔斯比他小得多，因此在感情上和理智上还远远不能和她交朋友，而且也不会少惹人嫌。他们的姐姐不久便失去了信心，觉得她再怎么努力也触动不了他们。她情绪好或是有空的时候，曾劝导过他们，可是他们什么话都听不进。每天下午放学后，他们都要在家里玩起各种各样大吵大闹的游戏。过了不久，每逢星期六下午这个半天假来临的时候，她都不免要长吁短叹。

贝齐也是个惯坏了的孩子，把字母表视为不共戴天的敌人，父母由着她和仆人们一起厮混，一边又纵容她随意说他们的坏话。范妮几乎要绝望了，感到无法爱她，也无法帮她。对于苏珊的脾气，她也是满怀疑虑。她不断地和妈妈闹意见，动不动就和汤姆、查尔斯吵嘴，对贝齐发脾气。这些现象至少让范妮觉得心烦。虽然她承认苏珊并不是没有来由，但她又担心，喜欢如此争吵不休的人，决不会对人和蔼可亲，也决不会给她带来平静。

就是这样一个家，她原想用这个家把曼斯菲尔德从自己的头脑中挤走，并且学会克制住自己对埃德蒙表哥的感情。但恰恰相反，她现在念念不忘的正是曼斯菲尔德，是那里那些可爱的人们，是那里的欢快气氛。这里的一切与那里形成了鲜明的对照。这里样样与那里截然不同，使她无时无刻不想起曼斯菲尔德的风雅、礼貌、规范、和谐——尤其是那里的平静与安宁。

对于范妮这种单薄的躯体、怯懦的性情来说，生活在无休止的喧闹声中无疑是巨大的痛苦，即使给这里加上风雅与和谐，也弥补不了这种痛苦。这是世上最大的痛苦。在曼斯菲尔德，从来听不到争抢什么东西的声音，听不到大喊大叫，听不到有人突然发作，听不到什么人胡蹦乱跳。一切都秩序井然，喜气洋洋。每个人都有应有的地位，每个人的意见都受到尊重。如果在哪件事情上缺乏温柔体贴的话，那取而代之的便是健全的见识和良好的教养。至于诺里斯姨妈有时导致的小小的不快，与她现在这个家的不停吵闹相比，那真是又短暂又微不足道，犹如滴水与沧海之比。在这里，人人都在吵闹，个个都在大喊大叫。（也许她妈妈是个例外，她说起话来像伯特伦夫人一样轻柔单调，只不过由于倍受生活的磨难，听起来有几分烦躁不安。）要什么东西都是大声呼喊，仆人们从厨房里辩解起来也是大声呼喊。门都在不停地砰砰作响，楼梯上总有人上上下下，做什么事都要磕磕碰碰，没有一个人老老实实地坐着，没有一个人讲话会有人听。

根据一个星期的印象，范妮把两个家庭做了对比。她想借用约翰逊博士关于结婚和独身的著名论断①（译注：①约翰逊博士，即萨缪尔·约翰逊(1709-1784)，英国作家、评论家、辞书编撰者。他在其中篇传奇《阿比西尼亚国拉塞斯王子传》第二十六章中有这样一句话：“结婚有许多痛苦，但独身却没有快乐。”），来评论这两个家庭说：虽然在曼斯菲尔德庄园会有一些痛苦，但在朴次茅斯却没有任何快乐。