怎样与情绪化的伙伴相处?
1. Determine if this is moodiness or something that needs more attention
1.首先要确定这到底是一种情绪化,还是需要更加注意的事情
It is important to determine whether your partner is just having moods or if they actually need professional help. Mood changes can be caused by a variety of things. Determine if they are caused from situations or if they could be a health issue.
确定你的伙伴只是情绪化,还是他们实际上需要专业的帮助,这一点很重要。多种因素都可以导致情绪变化。确定这些变化是由于所处的境况引起的,还是一种健康问题。
Notice how long the moodiness lasts and how severe it is. If it affects their daily living, it is probably something that needs checked out. You might consider keeping a journal with notes just in case they need to see a doctor.
要注意这种情绪化持续的时长以及严重程度。如果情绪化影响了他们的日常生活,那很可能就需要接受检查了。你或许会考虑写记录日志,以防他们需要看医生。
2. Do a self-check of your emotions
2.对你自己的情绪自查一下
While you are checking your partner's emotions, check yours as well. Could any of your moods or behaviors be contributing to your partner's moodiness? Do you find yourself feeding the moodiness by reacting to them in a certain way? Is there something you can do to change, so you can be more helpful rather than harmful?
当你在检查你伙伴的情绪的时候,也要注意你自己的情绪。有没有可能是你的某种情绪或者行为造成你的伙伴的情绪化呢?你发现你自己对他们的某种特定反应方式,造成了这种情绪化吗?有没有你可以尽量去改变的地方,这样你就会对你的伙伴更有帮助,而不是伤害他们?
3. Choose your battles
3. 面对挑战
Sometimes moodiness is an attention-seeking behavior. When this is the case, you need to decide whether or not it is worth addressing. Be considerate of what your partner feels is important, but decide for yourself what can be put aside for the time being and the sake of the relationship.
有时候,情绪化是一种吸引注意力的行为。如果是这种情况的话,你需要决定这种情绪化,值不值得你处理。理解你的伙伴的想法,是很重要的,但是要为自己决定什么是需要暂时搁置的,什么是需要为了良好的关系去做的事情。
4. Set boundaries
4.设定界限
All healthy relationships have boundaries. Boundaries tell us how far we can go without causing more harm. Your partner needs to know what those boundaries are. If they are yelling or screaming at you, let them know you will be happy to talk to them when they have calmed down. Tell them you do not talk to people who speak to you in that manner. They need to know that behavior is unacceptable, and you will not engage with them.
所有健康的关系都有界限。界限告诉我们,我们可以在不造成更多伤害的情况下,走多远。你的伙伴需要知道那些界限是什么。如果他们对你大吼大叫,让他们知道你很乐意在他们冷静下来的时候,和他们谈话。告诉他们你不想和那些大吼大叫的人说话。他们需要知道那种行为是不可取的,而且你不愿意和他们做朋友。