替孩子去拼!美国“扫雪机父母”成主流
前一阵的美国大学招生舞弊案暴露出了一批“扫雪机父母”,这种父母就像扫雪机一样披荆斩棘,为孩子清除人生路上的一切障碍。但是专家表示,这种育儿方式其实很落后。
Move over, helicopter parents. "Snowplow parents" are the newest embodiment of a hyper-intensive parenting style that can include parents booking their adult children haircuts, texting their college kids to wake them up so they don't sleep through a test, and even calling their kids' employers.
“直升机父母”靠边站,如今是“扫雪机父母”的天下了。采取这种高强度育儿方式的父母会给成年子女预约理发,给上大学的孩子发短信叫他们起床去参加考试,甚至会给孩子的雇主打电话。
"Helicopter parenting, the practice of hovering anxiously near one's children, monitoring their every activity, is so 20th century," Claire Cain Miller and Jonah Engel Bromwich wrote in The New York Times. "Some affluent mothers and fathers now are more like snowplows: machines chugging ahead, clearing any obstacles in their child's path to success, so they don't have to encounter failure, frustration or lost opportunities."
克莱尔·凯恩·米勒和约拿·恩格尔·布罗米奇在《纽约时报》写道:“焦虑地守在孩子身边、监视孩子一举一动的直升机父母已经过时了。如今一些富有的家长更像是扫雪机,轰隆隆地扫除孩子通往成功路上的所有障碍,让孩子不必遭受失败、挫折或丧失机会。”
Snowplow parents called out in the Times report include a mother who started a charity in her son's name to try to boost his chances of being accepted to the college of his choice. One set of parents spent years helping their daughter avoid foods with sauce, which she didn't like.
《纽约时报》关于扫雪机父母的报道中提到一位母亲为了增加儿子被理想大学录取的机会,以儿子的名义创办了一个慈善机构。还有一对父母因为女儿不喜欢酱汁的味道,多年来从未让她沾过添加酱汁的食物。
Once she got to college, she had problems with the food at her school cafeteria because it was all covered in sauce.
但是女儿上大学后就无法适应学校食堂的饭菜,因为所有饭菜都加了酱汁。
A recent poll by The New York Times and Morning Consult found that three-quarters of parents of children between the ages of 18 and 28 had made their children appointments for doctor visits or haircuts, and 11% said they would call their kid's boss if their child was having an issue at work, the Times reported.
据《纽约时报》报道,《纽约时报》和早晨咨询公司近日开展的一项调查发现,子女年龄在18岁到28岁之间的父母有四分之三会为孩子预约看病或理发,11%的父母表示,如果孩子工作出了状况,他们会打电话给孩子的老板。
Taken to the extreme, this type of parenting can be seen in the recent college admission scandal that saw dozens of affluent parents allegedly bribing standardized test score administrators and college coaches to ensure students would be admitted to elite universities, according to federal authorities.
前不久曝出的高校招生舞弊丑闻就是这种育儿方式的极端体现。据联邦当局透露,数十名富有的家长贿赂标准化考试的管理人员和高校的教练,确保孩子能被顶尖大学录取。
As INSIDER's Jacob Shamsian previously reported, wealthy parents try to get their children into top-tier colleges by making large donations to a school, such as paying for a building.
商业内幕网的雅各布·沙姆希安曾报道过,富有的家长会通过给学校捐钱盖大楼等大额捐赠的方式来让孩子进入顶尖大学。
Rich parents may have more time and money to devote to making sure their child doesn't ever encounter failure, but it's not only affluent parents practicing snowplow parenting.
富有的家长或许可以投入更多的时间和金钱,确保孩子一路坦途,但不是只有富人才会做扫雪机父母。
This super-intensive parenting has become the most popular way to raise children, regardless of income, education, or race, as Business Insider's Tanza Loudenback previously reported.
商业内幕网的坦扎·劳登巴克曾在报道中写过,这种高强度的育儿方式已经成为最流行的育儿方式,不论收入、教育或种族。
A recent Cornell survey of 3,642 American parents about parenting style found that most parents said "the most hands-on and expensive choices were best," regardless of the parents' education, income, or race, Cain Miller reported in The New York Times.
凯恩·米勒在《纽约时报》的报道中说,康奈尔大学近日对3642名美国家长关于育儿方式的一项调查发现,无论教育、收入或种族,多数父母都表示“最实际最贵的选择是最好的”。
hands-on[,hændz'ɑn]: adj. 亲身实践的,亲自动手的
Madeline Levine, a psychologist and the author of "Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies or 'Fat Envelopes,'" told the Times having all of their problems preemptively solved by their parents can be "disabling" for children down the road.
曾写过《教好你的小孩:为什么价值和应对技巧比成绩、奖杯和大学录取通知书重要》一书的心理学家玛德琳·莱文告诉《纽约时报》说,父母们预先给孩子解决所有问题会让孩子未来失去解决问题的能力。
"Here are parents who have spent 18 years grooming their kids with what they perceive as advantages, but they're not," Dr. Levine said.
莱文博士说:“父母们花了18年时间让孩子在各个方面都占优势,但他们所认为的这些优势对孩子是有害的。”
Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former dean of freshmen at Stanford and the author of "How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success," told the Times that snowplow parenting is a backwards approach.
朱莉·里斯科特-海姆斯曾任斯坦福大学新生辅导主任,著有《如何养出一个成年人:拒绝过度教养的陷阱,让孩子迈向成功》一书。她告诉《纽约时报》说,扫雪机育儿是一种落后的育儿方法。
"The point is to prepare the kid for the road, instead of preparing the road for the kid," she said.
她说:“关键在于让孩子准备好上路,而不是准备好道路给孩子走。”