Top Ten Personal Names of 2003

1. Saddam Hussein Just crawled out of the Spider-Hole and back into the spotlight.

2. W. (Dubya) Can't talk his way out of the news. (See the Top Bush Mispronunciations below.)

3. Rush Limbaugh How many pills actually fit into a cigar box?

4. Martha Stewart Not really 'cooking the books' but not quite kosher, either.

5. Pvt. Jessica Lynch Her rescue enthralled the nation desperate for good news.

6. Howard Dean The doctor from nowhere now has the team with the roadmap from nowhere to the White House-Clinton-Gore.

7. Pope John Paul II 25 years in the Papacy have taken their toll but he is still with us.

8. Ahh-nold That's California's new Governator after cruising over the Count of Bustamante in the recall election.

9. Paris Hilton The heiress, apparently named after one of her grandfather's hotels, landed a job on the Fox Network with the Internet distribution of her 'extracurricular activities'.

10. Hans Blix Whose "hans" seem to be tied in his search for the elusive WMDs.