“失败乃成功之母”。我们都希望能从失败中吸取经验教训，迎接成功。但为什么有时很难从错误中吸取教训？

Many of us were told from an early age that, be it at school or in life, "you learn from your mistakes". But is this actually true?

The short answer is 'yes' – failure can be a teachable moment. But learning from our mistakes is, in reality, very hard because we don't like to fail. It doesn't feel good, so we react to failure in impulsive and emotional ways, like giving up on a task prematurely, telling ourselves we don't care whether we succeed, or finding fault with the task itself. This is self-protective, according to Hallgeir Sjåstad, a professor of psychology and leadership at the Norwegian School of Economics. "Most of us want to think of ourselves as competent and capable", he says, so when we fail "it poses a serious threat to our self-image".

Fortunately, there is research to suggest that there are some strategies to help us overcome the emotional barriers around failure. One of them is to adopt a third-person perspective. Instead of asking "Why did I fail?", we could ask "Why did Sam fail?", for example. Multiple studies by psychologist Ethan Kross at the University of Michigan show that adopting a third-person perspective helps to soften our negative emotional reactions, allowing us to look at failure more objectively.

A second strategy involves offering advice to others who may be in the same position as us. This strategy led to better levels of motivation and academic success in the test groups – involving both adults and children – that were asked to give advice based on their own failures. Professors Eskreis-Winkler, Fishbach and Duckworth found that the satisfaction of helping others "forces people to engage with their experience and what they have learned". 

The writer Samuel Beckett once said: "fail again, fail better". But it now seems that we should be saying: "fail again, fail smarter". Failure is an inevitable part of life, but by learning to overcome the emotional barriers around it, we may find the road to success is a little easier to navigate.