Why did the Romans build straight roads?
So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave?
Rust in peace!

What famous chiropodist ruled England?
William the Corn-cutter!

What English King invented the fireplace?
Alfred the grate!

What's yellow, has wheels and lies on its back?
A dead school bus!