Little Monster: I hate my teacher.
Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!

"What's the matter with your dinner?"
"Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I've eaten!"

Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday.
Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else!

A math joke
Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?
Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!

Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age?
Pupil: The sausage!