A redneck walks into a lawyers office and says, "I wants me a devoars!"

The attorney says, "Do you have gounds?"

"I gots 20 acres uh' the best bottom land in Alabamma."

"No I meant to ask do you have a good case?" replys the attorney.

"Yep, I rekkun so. I traded by International Harvester for it 'bout three four yar 'go.

The attorney says, "Well nevermind that. Does she beat you up?"

"Nawh, hell no! She don't roll outta bed til roun 8 9 o'clock and I'm up with the chickens 4:30 5:00 'ary mornin."

"Is she a whinner?"

"Nawh, we boaf hadta quit drinkin back in June cause the police said they'd lock boaf us up 'we didn't.

"Is she a nagger?"

"Nawh, but that nagger baby she just had show is and that's why I wants me a devoars."