501
I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring

502
that costs too much to be free

503
hey, lady

504
I've been to paradise

505
but I've never been

506
to me

507
Oh, thank you.

508
Damn, woman. You were good.

509
Yes. All right, you're next, susie Q.
What you going to sing?

510
Yes

511
You sing?

512
Only when I'm alone.

513
Come on. We're among friends.

514
I don't think so.

515
Well, I, for one, would love to hear your voice.

516
Give it up, plumber. She's not budging.

517
You want to hear me sing?

518
Yeah.

519
Okay.

520
What's it going to be? I'll tell the piano player.

521
"New york, new york."

522
Oh, I am so excited to hear you.

523
Oh, but doesn't it just figure?

524
What do you mean?

525
You have to get up in front of a room
full of people dressed like that.

526
I hope they don't turn on you.

527
I think I'll take my chances, sort of like
you did on those high notes.

528
I'm going to get us two more.

529
That's a great idea.

530
So that Mike -- he seems pretty even-keeled.

531
Yeah. He's a great guy.

532
But you know, I mean, he's a little buster brown.

533
Don't you ever worry you're going to get bored?

534
Thanks for your concern, Karl. I'm fine.

535
Go figure.

536
Even though our marriage was crazy
at times, it never got dull.

537
Yeah, that part when you slept with
your secretary was really exciting.

538
I know. How many times do I have to hear it?
It was a mistake.

539
But don't I ever get credit for the 13 loyal
years beforehand?

540
You must not be counting
the Hendersons' christmas party.

541
Edie, not now.

542
Oh, what's the big deal, Karl?
Your marriage is history anyway.

543
Edie.

544
It was nothing, really.
Basically, we both got plastered on eggnog,

545
and we found ourselves standing under the, uh, mistletoe,

546
and we were like, "okay, well, what do we do now?"

547
So I smiled, and he smiled, and then Karl
reached over and started feeling me up.

548
- Susie, that's not how it happened.
- All right, Susan, come on, you're up.

549
What?

550
This is --it's so silly.