现代社会的约会和恋爱比以前要复杂得多，如果你不了解当下流行的约会新名词，那你很可能会疑惑“为什么受伤的总是我”。不想做“恋爱小白”？最新约会词典学起来！

There is no doubt dating is difficult.

约会，无疑是麻烦不断的。

And the experience can be made even more stressful by baffling new vocabulary.

一些让人困惑的新词更是让约会压力倍增。

Whereas couples might once have been concerned with 'courting' and 'going steady' they are now more likely to be 'benching' or 'ghosting' each other.

过去，情侣们可能还在为如何“追求”、“维持关系”而操心，而现在，他们更有可能彼此互为“备胎（benching）”，或是“忽然玩消失（ghosting）”。

The words are sometimes familiar but have been given a completely different meaning in the world of modern relationships.

有些词对于我们来说比较熟悉，但是在现代情侣关系中，它们却被赋予了截然不同的意思。

Here, we reveal the definitions behind the 10 dating terms you need to know, so at least you have one less thing to worry about the next time you swipe right...

现在，我们为你揭秘你应该知道的十大约会词。这样，下次手机右滑同意别人请求的时候，起码你能少为一些情况烦心。

LAYBY 路边停车

'Layby' refers to someone who is in a relationship but looking to get out. Instead of risking a period of singleness when it eventually ends, a layby starts laying the groundwork with other women or men who they might want to date next.

“路边停车”（layby）指的是对方虽然还在跟你谈恋爱，但是已经在想着分手了。这种人在分手以后不会有空窗期，因为他们已经想好了下一个可能的约会对象，并且为此着手准备了。

Those being pursued by a layby should be wary as he or she might well have a number of 'next' options lined up - not to mention the fact that they are not technically single.

要是被这种人追求，你可就要当心了，因为他很有可能同时追求很多人，更别说他可能还没真正单身。

There is also a good chance the layby could be needy or insecure as they are not comfortable being single.

单着就不舒服，这种“路边停车”的人也很有可能是比较缺爱或者缺乏安全感。

CATCH AND RELEASE 撩完就跑

On the other end of the spectrum is the dater who practises the 'catch and release'.

另一种极品约会者就是那些一追到手就把对方甩了的人。

This is a move favoured by those who enjoys the 'chase' part of a relationship, the first flirtations before any commitments are made.

有的人在一段关系中最享受“追逐”的体验，也就是在作出任何实质性承诺之前的暧昧调情。

Once the object of their desire has been 'caught', this commitment-phobe will then 'release' them without ever being pinned down.

这些人不喜欢承诺，一旦倾慕的对象被“俘获”，他们甚至在确定关系之前就把对方甩了。

BREADCRUMBING 撒面包屑

Similar to the 'catch and release', 'breadcrumbing' is a dating approach taken by those with no intention of being tied down.

“撒面包屑”（breadcrumbing）和“撩完就跑”（catch and release）差不多，是那些无意确定关系的约会者的惯用手段。

Taking its name from the classic tale of Hansel and Gretel, breadcrumbing involves leading someone on with a trail of flirtatious messages but never following through.

面包屑这个名字源于经典童话故事《韩塞尔与葛雷特》（Hansel and Gretel），这里指的是一方用一系列暧昧信息让另一方产生恋爱错觉，但是从不进行后续发展。

Some of the worst offenders might not even meet the recipient of their teasing texts.

最糟糕是，有些人甚至都不会和信息那头的被戏弄的人见面。

SNACK PACK 零食袋

This playful name is given to the bag a man or woman brings when they spend the night at someone else's place. Most frequently carried in case of a one-night stand.

这个有趣的名字指的是在对方家里过夜所带的包。这个包里的东西一般是为一夜情而准备的。

Items within a 'snack pack' might include a toothbrush, phone charger or spare pair of underwear. Condoms, birth control pills or other contraception are also a must.

“零食袋”里可能有牙刷、手机充电器、备用内衣。避孕套、避孕药等避孕品也是必备的。

BENCHING 备胎

Before couples have 'the talk' and define their relationship - also known by the acronym 'DTR' - either party is at risk of being 'benched'.

在双方挑明、确定关系之前（DTR），双方都可能是对方的“备胎”。

This happens when one person is unsure of their future with their current partner and so puts them on the 'bench' - as with sports team reserves - and looks at other options. If nothing better comes along, they might come back into play.

当一个人不确定要和目前的伴侣共度未来时，可能就会去寻找新目标，而将现任视为“备胎”，仿佛是体育队伍里的候补队员。而如果没有更好的选择，他们还是会回归现状。

CUFFING SEASON 铐牢期

The solitude of the winter months can leave even the most avowed singletons thinking twice about their relationship status.

漫长而孤寂的冬夜里，即使是最高调的独身者也不得不重新审视自己的感情状况。

Long nights in front of the television are better with company, so many people find themselves wanting to be 'cuffed' to someone else.

漫漫长夜，与其独对电视机，不如有人陪伴着一起，因此许多人觉得，他们希望与另一个人“铐牢”。

However these passionate dalliances can often fizzle out with the change in season, when daters find themselves distracted by the sunny days and skin on show.

但是，这种热情的暧昧往往随着季节变化而消减殆尽，大地已慢慢回春放晴，人们的衣服越穿越少，约会者们又开始分心了。

SHIPPING 登对

The true mark of a full-blown relationship is when it is endorsed or 'shipped' by the couple's nearest and dearest.

一段真正成熟的感情，是指感情获得了对方亲友的支持，甚至是“喜欢”。

SLOW FADE 逐渐消失

The 'slow fade' is a move used by daters looking to cut ties with someone without the drama - or decency - of a proper conversation.

逐渐消失指的是有些人想要分手，但又不想在分手会谈时看到一哭二闹三上吊的戏码，或者是不想礼貌地通知对方分手的消息。

It sees people slowly reducing the amount of communication before it eventually dwindles into nothingness.

这些人会慢慢降低跟对方聊天的频率，最后就彻底没了联系。

Warning signs include slower text responses, unanswered phone calls and an unwillingness to arrange future plans.

警示标志就是回信越来越短、打电话没人接，还有不愿规划将来。

GHOSTING 神秘消失

Like the 'slow fade', but far more brutal.

像幽灵一样“逐渐消失”（slow fade），但是更加无情。

It is the act where an ex-friend or partner simply disappears from a loved one's life by completely cutting off all contact without any warning or explanation.

这指的是伴侣直接完全消失，完全没有提醒也没有解释，就彻底切断了和你的一切联系。

'Ghosting' is a treatment frequently suffered at the hands of online daters who think there is constantly a better option available.

“神秘消失”（ghosting）在网恋中比较常见，因为这些约会者认为更好的选择会不断出现。

ZOMBIE-ING 僵尸回归

When a 'ghost' tries to re-insert themselves into their ex-lover's life, they are like a zombie coming back from the dead.

当“幽灵”试图重新进入前任的生活，他们就像是死而复生的僵尸一样。

'Zombie-ing' usually takes the form of an innocuous text message or WhatsApp - 'Hi, how's it going', or something similar.

想要“回归”前任的人通常会发一些人畜无害的消息，或者是用WhatsApp给前任发“嗨，最近过得怎么样？”等等类似的手段。

Social media has also opened up a new playing field for zombies, who can now 'like', 'comment' or 'follow' their way back onto their target's radar.

社交媒体也给这些要吃回头草的人打开了新世界的大门，他们可以通过“点赞”、“评论”和“关注”重回对方视线。