JK Rowling must be thanking Dumbledore that she has her Cormoran Strike series to fall back on, after a predictive keyboard wrote a new Harry Potter story using her books and it became the funniest thing on the internet.

一个人工智能算法自动编写程序以JK罗琳的小说《哈利·波特》为蓝本写了一个新故事，它已经成为了互联网上最搞笑的笑料，幸好JK罗琳还有她的《侦探科莫兰》系列小说，为此她真要感谢邓布利多。

After the team fed the seven Harry Potter novels through their predictive text keyboard, it came up with a chapter from a new Harry Potter story: Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash. It is worth reading.

一个研究团队研发了一种可预估文本输入法，在他们输入了七部《哈利·波特》系列之后，这个输入法写出了一章哈利·波特的新故事，《哈利·波特与一坨看起来像灰烬的东西的画像》。它值得你去读一读。

“Magic: it was something that Harry Potter thought was very good.” Well, that’s not wrong. And the following sounds plausibly Pottery: “Leathery sheets of rain lashed at Harry’s ghost as he walked across the grounds towards the castle. Ron was standing there and doing a kind of frenzied tap dance.”

“魔法，哈利一直认为这是一种很好的东西。”好吧，这没什么错。接下来这一段听起来很有哈利的风格：“哈利的鬼魂穿过广场走向城堡，皮料一般密布的雨帘鞭打着他的鬼魂。荣恩站在那里，发疯似的跳着踢踏舞。”

So far, so Ron. But then:

目前为止，这很荣恩。不过接着：

“He saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione’s family. Ron’s Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself.“

他看到哈利，立刻开始吃赫敏的家人。荣恩的荣恩衫就像他自己一样糟糕。”

‘If you two can’t clump happily, I’m going to get aggressive,’ confessed the reasonable Hermione.”

“‘如果你们俩不能好好的结成一团，我会变得咄咄逼人。’赫敏这样劝说道。”

It continues in this vein: almost making sense, but mostly just gloriously bonkers, like: “To Harry, Ron was a loud, slow, and soft bird. Harry did not like to think about birds.” And my favourite: “They looked at the door, screaming about how closed it was and asking it to be replaced with a small orb. The password was ‘BEEF WOMEN,’ Hermione cried.”

种风格继续往下，大多数还算合情理，就是颇有些理直气壮的疯气。例如：“对哈利来说，荣恩就是一只吵闹，迟缓而且软弱的笑料。哈利不喜欢思考鸟类的事情。”还有我最喜欢的一段“他们看着那扇门，尖叫着抱怨它关得那么紧，它们要把它变成一个小球。密码是‘牛肉女人’，赫敏叫到。”

Botnik describes itself as “a human-machine entertainment studio and writing community”, with members including former Clickhole head writer Jamie Brew, and former New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff. The predictive text keyboard is its first writing tool – it works, Botnik explains, by analysing a body of text “to find combinations of words likely to follow each other” based on the grammar and vocabulary used.

这家名为Botnik的公司自诩为一家“类人机器娱乐工作室与写作社团。”其成员包括互联网话题分享网站Clickhole前主笔Jamie Brew，《纽约客》杂志编辑Bob Mankoff。这种可预估文本输入法是这家公司研发的第一款写作工具——该公司称，它的工作原理是基于分析某一文本的语法和词汇，“找到词与词之间组合的概率”。

“We use computational tools to create strange new things,” says the company on its website. “We would like, selfishly, not to replace humanity with algorithms. instead, we want to find natural ways for people and machines to interact to create what neither would have created alone.”

“我们用计算工具创造怪异而新奇的事物，”这家公司在自己的网站上这样说道，“自私地说，我们并不希望计算法则取代人性。我们想要找到让人与机器和谐互动的自然方式，让两者创造出任何一方不能单独完成的成果。”

As well as the Potter chapter, Botnik has also created incredible TV scripts for Scrubs and Seinfeld (“Dating is the opposite of tuna, salmon is the opposite of everything else. I’m sure you know what I mean,” says Jerry). It’s tried romance(“Hot guy Jeff is devastatingly sexy and steamy. He’s got a really simple rule: be the ultimate playboy and get through one day without crying”), Halloween safety tips (“The Bible says that children love when we dress them like pumpkins and eat their regular clothes”) and teenage advice columns as well. All are fabulous.

除了哈利·波特的故事，Botnik公司还为美国喜剧《宋飞正传》写出了精彩的剧本（“约会是金枪鱼的反义词，鲑鱼是其他一切的反义词。我相信你明白我的意思。”杰利说道。）其中有罗曼史（“型男杰夫性感无敌，非常惹火。他秉持着一条简单的规则，做一个终极花花公子，坚持一整天不哭鼻子。”），还包括万圣节安全指南，（《圣经》说孩子们喜欢我们把他们打扮成南瓜，然后吃掉他们平常的衣服。），还有青年规劝专栏。都写得精彩极了。

（翻译：小木）