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汇丰商务英语写作教程(23)

分类: 外贸英语 

我们学习过了第一个P——polite,这次来继续学习第二个P——positive。

 

Being Courteous: How To Be Positive 

To write courteous sentences, you need to be polite. You also need to use the second "P" - be positive.

Once again, think of yourself as the reader (or customer).

How would you feel if you got a letter that said...

"You cannot withdraw the money until your cheque has cleared."

This sentence is very negative, isn't it? It tells you what you can't do.

"You can withdraw the money as soon as your cheque has cleared."

You can make a sentence positive by stating what the reader can do instead of what the reader cannot do.

SAY WHAT YOU CAN DO 

You only have to change a few words to change a negative sentence into a positive one.

You only need to say what the reader can do rather than what the reader can't do. You can also be positive by saying what the company can do rather than what it can't do.

Look at the two sentences below. Both sentences have the same meaning. But one is positive and one is negative. Which sentence is positive?

"Our office closes at 4:00 pm."

"Our office stays open until 4:00 pm."

The second sentence sounds much better, doesn't it? The word "open" is positive, while "close" is negative.

There's another way to write positively.

Think of yourself as a bank customer. You've just received a letter inviting you to apply for a Classic Visa card. In the letter, you read this sentence:

"You need an annual income of HKD42,000 to apply for a credit card."

How do you feel?

The sentence is true, but it could be written in a more positive way. So, try to revise the sentence. (Hint: You may want to begin the sentence with "if".)

"If you have an annual income of HKD42,000, you can apply for a credit card."

USE THE "IF-CONTRACT" 

When you use the "if-contract", you state what you, your company or the reader can do...IF the reader can meet a specific condition.

The "if-contract" emphasises what is possible. It's a much more positive way of expressing your ideas.

Look at two more sentences. Both have the same meaning, but which one sounds more positive?

"You must reply within five days or we cannot process your application."

"If you apply within five days, we can process your application."

Do you see how the "if-contract" makes a sentence more positive?

Whenever you use the "if-contract", you

l        begin with an "IF" clause and

l        end with an "action" clause (which states what you or your reader can do if the condition is met).

You can practise writing positive sentences in the exercise below.

Try revising the following sentences, which are not very positive.

1) We cannot process your application until next month unless you reply promptly.

   

2) You need a reference before you can open an account.

   

3) Settle payment immediately or you will be charged an additional $15.

   

4) You must send the documents by Friday or we cannot prepare a Letter of Credit.

   

5) Unless you have five years' experience in personal finance, you cannot apply for the position.

Suggested revisions:

1) If you reply promptly, we can process your application by the end of the month.

2) If you give us a reference, you can open an account.

3) If you pay immediately, you will not incur any additional charges.

4) If you send us the documents by Friday, we can prepare a Letter of Credit.

5) If you have five years' experience in personal finance, you can apply for the position.

NOTE: In all of these sentences, you can change the order of the two clauses. eg"We can process your application by the end of the month if you reply promptly."

下次我们将继续学习第三个P——personal,不要错过哦!

来源:中国物流论坛

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