致命的大错
  
"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."
  
"Qualifications: No education or experience."
  
"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
  
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
  
"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."
  
"Fired because I fought for lower pay."
  
"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65" .
  
"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."
  
"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."
  
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately."

打字错误与语法错误
  
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
  
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
  
"I am a rabid typist."
  
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."
  
"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to      pursue a new line of work."
  
"Accounting cleric."
  
"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
  
"Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments."
  
"Suspected to graduate early next year."
  
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
  
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
  
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
  
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
  
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

不应有的幽默
  
"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."
  
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)
  
"But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."
  
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
  
"My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company in particular."
  
"Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series."
  
"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."
  
"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."
  
"Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience."